So giving birth was crazy….but attempting to have sex after was interesting to say the least. Let’s take a step back to giving birth.

I remember going to the bathroom after my epidural wore off and was actually excited to be able to see anything below my belly since it has been so long. I could see my feet and my vagina! Yes, the vagina which had been neglected and was quite the jungle. All I can say is it was a scary view ladies. Anyone who has their first child is in for a shock after childbirth.

I understand that a nine pound baby just made his way through there but OH MY GOD! The thought of it going back to its original state was a little daunting.

So after the initial shock and lots of uncomfortableness the doctor gave me the post partum go ahead for exercise and sexy time. Since I wasn’t about to go running then the other thing was something to try out again.

In a few words I felt like a virgin again and it was definitely different since now a child is involved. I find myself planning “pound town” during naps or after my child goes down. It’s like a race.

OK the kid is down.

Did I pump? Who wants those things flopping around spraying milk everywhere (I now understand where the word “milky” breast in smut books comes from)?!

Do you have the monitor on?

Don’t be too loud! (I feel like it is college sex all over again, remember when your roommate was in the room but you were too drunk to care so you were quiet about it! Maybe that was just me?!)

Hurry up he is squawking and I need to check on him. 


Luckily my husband and I have a great sense of humor about it but can only imagine the time constraint getting worse since I am back to work full-time. So how do all my working ladies keep that connection to their partners?   

So if you see me out at work  humming  “Like a virgin” don’t judge me…. I am just  happy that my nether regions are back to normal.

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