I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while now. My fear has been that somehow my wonderful daycare provider will find out I’ve written this. But really, that’s not something I should be worried about because I adore her, she is the absolute perfect choice for us and she takes great care of our daughter.

I’ve been finding that I’m oddly competitive with her. Maybe it’s that insecurity that my daughter spends more time with her during the week than I do or maybe I’m just feeling protective but there are comments said that make me feel like she sometimes judges my parenting. For instance, my daughter is a little over 8 months old now and we are still in the puree everything mode and bring over lots of frozen cubes of food to compliment her bottle feedings. We’ve stuck to simple things like veggies and fruits and about 2 weeks ago our daycare provider asked me if we are keeping her a vegetarian. I said no, that we aren’t vegetarians and she said something to the effect of “well she’s really growing you know?” The implication was that I should start feeding her meat, or at least that’s how I took it.

As yet another example, I will admit to all of you that we buy the cheaper diapers for daycare and get somewhat higher quality diapers for us at home. We need to save money, we are basically living off of one income right now as my husband is pursuing his education and if it wasn’t for those darn diapers having different children’s characters on them, maybe she would have noticed. But just the other day I was asking her which diapers she liked better (we’ve given her Luvs which worked fine and then bought the BJ’s brand which leak a lot) because we needed to order some more for day care and she mentioned to me that we use different diapers at home than we give her (our Huggies have Mickey Mouse on them unlike the others). I didn’t know what to say. I was secretly dreading the day she would ask about this. I basically stumbled over my words and said something like “Well we usually just buy what’s on sale.”

What is my problem?! As I’m typing this out I realize even more how ridiculous I’m being. Our daycare provider is absolutely wonderful and I never worry about leaving the baby with her. In fact my transition back to work went smoothly mainly because I really trust her and I know she’s doing a great job. So why am I reading into these little comments? Why do I feel the need to defend things like the kind of diapers I bring over? I honestly don’t know. What do you think?

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