As most of you know, I recently posted a blog about my traumatic birth experience (thanks for all the love & support!). A few things have happened today to make me feel like I need to put up a blog post.
#1: I saw this on facebook:
I immediately felt emotional about the words in this image because I tend to be really hard on myself and often times feel guilty for still being affected by my birth experience (its been 9 months). I’ve learned more recently about some of the things that happened during my labor and eventual c-section, including the fact that if I hadn’t had the c-section I would have died (and the baby too). Turns out the baby was in “deep transverse arrest” and was literally lodged in my pelvic area. While on the one hand it’s healing to know that my C-section WAS necessary, it’s also hard to move on from the reality that I almost died.
#2: I texted my close pal Christa and said, “I’m having a lot of anxiety and don’t know why”
Well this seems almost stupid now that I’m writing out this blog post. I texted Christa about an hour ago with this message. She is my confidant and we text each other about 100 times a day. Clearly I’m having anxiety about the birth stuff, on top of all the other stuff going on in my life.
#3: As I walked through the legislative office building this morning I discovered it’s “Trauma Day” at the Capitol and they were giving out plants (surviving to thriving was the theme) and brochures.
I have never stopped to chat with anyone doing displays about trauma because I’ve been fortunate to never have had an extremely traumatic experience, until the birth of my daughter. I stopped today, read through the brochure and actually talked to the woman behind the table. The beginning of the brochure says this:
Posttraumtic stress disorder, or PTSH, can occur after someone goes through, sees or learns about a traumatic event like:
- Combat exposure
- Child sexual or physical abuse
- Terrorist attack
- Sexual/physical assault
- Serious accident
- Natural Disaster
I decided to suggest that they include traumatic birth on their list because the more I openly talk about what happened to me, I’m discovering how many other women have experienced something traumatic during their birth’s too. The woman was very nice, told me that I had a really interesting point and asked me to email them.
I think all signs today are pointing to writing that email.