Last night my husband had a conversation with me about my issues of asking for help. It went something like this..

H: ” So I signed up for a flag football on Sundays and wanted to check to make sure our schedules were ok”

Me: ” Yeah that works and it is actually great because then I can sign up for pottery or that zumba class that I want”

H: “Hun, you do realize it is not a tit for tat thing, you can sign up for that before or after me signing up for football. Now that I think of it, what is your problem!? You need to remember to do things for yourself.”

Me: “I know, I just don’t want to dump more on your plate, between work and school (my hubby is going back for a business degree)”

H: “You are not dumping anything, you do realize Max is my son too and it is not a problem.”

Me: “Well…”

H: “No, well! Will you stop not asking for anything, I am here in this too you know.”

Me: “I know”

But the question is do I really know? I think about it and I literally do not ask for much of anything. I work, and take care of a lot of Max duties and it is not because I do not think he can’t handle it. My husband is amazing with Max and I have left for days of a business trip and he did great.

I do not understand why I do not ask for more help or make more me time…RIGHT now my favorite time of the week is Sundays since my husband takes the morning shift with Max and I get to sleep in to 9 am. 

My husband is right where I almost wait for him to want to do something and I keep a list of his activities so then I can make a list of my own. What is my problem? I have been with my husband for 8 years and married for almost 5 and he has always been there the very few times I ask for help (I can think of maybe 3-4 times).

I feel like I can make a support group for working mothers who do not ask for help.

“My name is Katie and I never ask for help.”

The question is how many of you would be out there in my support group responding in unison “Hi Katie”

Sometimes I think it is my control issues then I also realize I have what we refer to extreme “catholic guilt” I feel bad about not making everyone else happy and most of the time I am not on that list. I am sometimes but not always. I find that keeping everyone else happy makes me happy.

So ladies how do we change this awful habit?

I am going to sign up for a class this week come hell or high water and make sure I take advantage of the fact that I am not alone in this. Do you feel like you do everything alone? What are you going to do for yourself this week! We need to unite and change this.

We deserve it.

We deserve it.

We deserve it.

Do you think if I keep repeating this mantra I might actually believe it one day?

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