Magical Monday: Finding FREEDOM!

May 7, 2012 by

Hello Beautiful Mamas! Blogging here has been a fantastic experience for me ~ especially getting to know my fellow bloggers through the “Day-in-the-Life” series and the “This-is Me” series. I’m not really a working mom, in the fact that I stay home with my children and homeschool them and only work a bit at naptimes (of course we all know this IS work, but not in the typical working mom sense of the phrase). I have to say that I have been very inspired by the working moms here, and even at times envious, as reading through your daily lives has shown me some areas where you have the balance I’ve been craving.

I’ve been a little envious of the fact that if you’re sick, you can still bring your child to daycare and have a day to yourself in bed (yes, VERY envious of this, to be honest!). There was a time when some of you took off work on a Friday to go to a movie and then lunch and I was thinking how lucky you are to be able to do this. Reading of times where children have spent the night at their grandparents house is another one that makes me yearn, as hubby’s and my family are both in Maine.

For over seven years now I’ve been with my children all day, everyday. And while I really would never trade this for anything, I’ve been realizing lately that I need more balance ~ more me-time, more hubby time, more time WITHOUT children. I don’t have a daycare, or grandparents near by, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find more freedom somehow! And I’ve already started.

This past Saturday night hubby and I had our first date (without baby) in 9 months. My sweet baby Kai is only 8 months old and I’ve never left any of my babies that soon with anyone other than Papa….but thanks to being inspired by my beloved CT working moms, I KNEW it was possible! Even though this may not seem like a big deal to some, it was a LARGE leap for me. But I felt ready. Indeed, I believe my whole family felt ready. So we had our favorite sitter over and after some quick instructions (she’d never sat for a baby that young before) hubby and I left.

AND IT WAS GREAT!!!

There were a couple of phone calls and some texts where we thought we may have to leave early because Kai was upset, but I just told her some tricks to try and they worked! Hubby and I even ended up staying out later than we had planned and it felt SO GOOD to connect with just HIM again and have an uninterrupted conversation over many glasses of wine. It was just what we needed.

When we came home everyone was happily playing (we came home before bedtime as no one else but hubby and me have EVER done bedtime for the boys) and we all celebrated the night being a success all around.

It was a good first step for us.

And now we’re making bigger plans. Baby is about to wake up so I’ll have to save those plans for  a later post. But we’re making our world BIGGER. We’re making the world BIGGER for our children and allowing other people to support us. It feels good. It feels really good. And I know it’s already benefiting everyone.

So that is my Magic for this Monday ~ Finding more freedom thanks to being a part of CT working moms. Thank you, Dear Sisters. I love you! ♥

 

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Kate Street

I'm Kate Street. I live in Essex, CT where I'm desperately hoping someone comes to put in a brew-pub (Anyone? Anyone?). Along with my weekly column of unconventional sharings here at CTWorkingMom.com I run two of my own websites in between homeschooling my three boys, romancing my soulmate, and my quest for enlightenment. "Love From Baby" is based on my own experiences of pre-birth communication and higher dimensional parenting. There I get to enact out one of my biggest passions as "Cosmic Midwife" for those who are pregnant or trying to conceive. "My Everyday Magic" is my other website, full of real-life-fairies who practice the life-changing exercise of daily gratitude. It's just plain awesome. I'm also an aerial silks dancer which makes me just about one of the coolest people you've ever known. I like keepin' it real, drinking good beer, swearing like a sailor, and my catch phrase is "If it doesn't sparkle, it's not worth my time.

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10 Comments

  1. Jen Seiderer

    I can relate to this. My boys are three-and-a-half and 19 months and we’ve rarely left them. We don’t have family close by and because my older son has a potentially fatal nut allergy, I’m wary of leaving him with anyone, even in our own home. Our nanny has stayed late a few times so that we could go out to dinner and a movie and a few times we’ve both taken the afternoon off of work to have a date. I often think there’s something wrong with me that I’m not more eager to get out without my kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband dearly and he’s my best friend and I love our times out alone together, but I love our family times even more. I should probably get more grownup interests and friends but for now, while my kids are very small, I’m mostly okay with the way things are.

    By the way, I didn’t know that you don’t “officially” work but that doesn’t make what you have to say any less valid. The trumped-up division between working moms and SAHMs is just “grass is always greener” syndrome. I like to hear from everyone. As I think I’ve mentioned before, I work full time from home and my kids are here with me and a nanny, so I feel like I have the best of both worlds.

    • Kate Street

      Jen, I’m interested to hear that you have a nanny while you are at home ~ how does that work for you? Do your children know that you just can’t be bothered? I’ve had a mother’s helper at home with me a few times, but I find that if I’m here, my children just want me (they can’t pretend I’m not here). So for me, I always have to leave the house. I would LOVE to be able to stay and just have everyone happy with the sitter…any tips?

  2. Michelle

    I just love this post today Kate! Thank you! It means so much to know that being a blogger has had a positive impact on your life – that’s what its all about!

    And also, ever hear that saying “Every Mother is a Working Mother”? Amen to that! I agree!

    My magic:
    -Challenging myself in new ways – even if it’s uncomfortable at first
    -My baby saying “bye-bye” for the first time this morning, SO cute
    -Getting out for a run yesterday even though I hadn’t run in over a week
    -The sun shining today!

    • Kate Street

      Yay for runs and challenging yourself ~ BOTH are always worth it, right?! I love you!

  3. Dena

    When Miles came along, the first time we left him with a sitter (my mom came all the way from NH to babysit, and i’m sure she would have come from Alaska if she had to!!) he was 8 months old. We went to a wedding and it was great. With Ava she was left with a sitter (again, my mom) at about 4 weeks old! Some observations i have made after the fact: With Miles i was home with him (running a home daycare) and I never felt like he would be ok without me. I left my mom (who raised 2 children) a 3 page note when she came to babysit… 3 PAGES! Once I went back to work outside the home (because any kind of mommyhood is WORK) I had to trust the daycare folks with my baby, and it really was freeing to know that he could adjust to the way someone else did it. And that was really good for him too! He had to adapt, which is a part of life. Also, I found it was easier to leave the second one earlier, since i KNEW it would be ok… I had done this before, and Miles was fine when someone else took care of him, so i knew Ava would be too. We love our kids, but sometimes it is so nice to be around other adults, or for you and your spouse to just BE adults! Glad you could find some time to do that, and I’m hoping maybe one day you can take off work with us and catch a movie!

    • Kate Street

      I love your line about our babies “adjusting to the way someone else does it.” That alone really speaks volumes and REALLY should be talked about more, because some Mamas (like ME until last year!) just don’t know this happens and sometimes EASILY!

  4. joyofmotherhood

    KATE – I hear you – although my boat may be smaller – I only have one at well almost 21 months this week… we have never left him with anyone, and that means no date nights unless you count the ones on our own couch trying to watch a complete movie and a glass of wine :)

    My family is in NJ / FL and well hubby’s family lets just say we last saw them at christmas…. they live in CT.

    Anyways – we need a dinner out or something I have to figure something out hopefully this summer we will have had our first real date night since he was born. :) SMILE there are a lot of us in the same boat.

    • Kate Street

      I do hope you find someone you LOVE to look after your little one ~ it can be nerve-wracking but so worth it. And then the dates start getting addicting. ;) Those couch dates with wine are fun too, though! :)

  5. bernhardsonbunch

    I can 100% understand the sitter thing. I’ve never left the boys with anyone except my parents or my husband’s parents. I just cannot do it. I even have names and resumes of sitters from the AWESOME sitter directory at the Stay and Play, but I could never make the call. Being home full time after finishing grad school has been rough. I can really understand needing your own time and space and identity outside of the house. So many people have suggested I tutor part time for money instead of teaching part time (I’d make more tutoring!) but I need to see other grown ups and have conversations with them!! So glad you were able to have some much needed time away!! :)

    • Kate Street

      Those sitter resumes are invaluable!!! Hold onto them!

      It IS so nice to have grown-up conversations every now and then, isn’t it? ;)

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