This is Me: Patty

May 16, 2012 by

This is me (and my girls).

My name is Patricia Mary but I prefer to be called “Patty.”  I do not like to be called Pat.

I am am a workers’ compensation defense attorney and I try my hardest to be a good friend, a nice relative, a loving wife and most importantly, a kickass mom.

I do my best not to judge others and not to hold grudges.

I am not religious but I do have faith.

I wish I had more patience.

I have ink – a butterfly on the left side of my lower back.

There was a time in my young adulthood when I questioned whether or not I wanted children.  I am SO GLAD that I got over myself because my kids have opened my eyes to a whole new world.  They challenge me every day and I am a better person because of them.  The bond between my husband and I would not be the same if we had not shared the treasure of creating life and began what I am certain will be the most trying, but rewarding, chapter of our lives together.

I was very nervous about becoming a mother and still question whether I am doing things right.  The first diaper that I ever changed was my oldest daughter’s.

I sometimes still feel like a kid myself and wonder how it is possible that I am a mom.  I like Poptarts, cartoons and roller coasters.

I am an only child and I had a very happy upbringing but because I always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling (you always want what you don’t have I suppose), I knew that once I decided to have kids, I would have at least two….or three.  I will not have more than three on purpose.

Both of my babies were breech.  My first daughter turned on her own about a month before she was born.  My second daughter was still breech at 37 weeks but with some assistance through a medical procedure known as an external cephalic version , the doctors manually turned her and she stayed in the correct position so that I was able to deliver her vaginally.  I am currently 23 weeks pregnant and the baby is breech.

I did not have a birth plan other than I knew I did not want a c-section if possible.  I waited as long as I could stand it to have the epidural when I was in labor with my first daughter, not because I have a problem with epidurals but moreso because I wanted to see how it feels to have a baby.  Dumb idea, I know.  Yup, just like they say,  it hurts like hell.  Because I was late to ask for the epidural, it did not take on one side and it was pretty painful.  I learned from my mistake and asked for the epidural fairly early during labor with my second daughter.

Breastfeeding grossed me out before I had babies but after doing some reading and talking with people, I decided to give it a try to see if it would work out since it has health benefits for both me and baby.  I nursed my first daughter until she was 5 months old or so but I also supplemented with formula as needed.  I felt a little guilty weaning her at 5 months but the pumping became too much for me and my supply started dwindling so it felt like the right time to call it quits.  I was both sad and happy but I am sure I celebrated with at least 2 glasses of wine once she was fully weaned.  My second daughter developed a milk protein allergy and I was only able to nurse her for about 4 months before our pediatrician recommended that I stop breastfeeding.  I felt guilty but I had done all I could to try to make it work.  I had cut all dairy from my diet (which is miserable) and she still could not tolerate my milk.  I will nurse baby #3 for as long as it works out.

I don’t nurse in public or even in front of all friends and relatives.  I think my fear is that it makes some people uncomfortable, which makes me feel uncomfortable and so I just find a private place when baby is hungry.  This does not bother me and it is actually nice to be alone with my baby and not worry about a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction.  I sometimes wish I had more of a carefree attitude about nursing because other people’s uneasiness with breastfeeding shouldn’t be a consideration but this is just how I feel.

We do bottles with breastmilk and/or formula until baby is 1 and then we start the weaning process and also the formula to cows milk transition.

Binkies are my friend but I get rid of them sometime around the 18 month mark.  I just throw them out and deal with the extra whining for a week or so.  I feel bad but I don’t want my toddlers walking around with binkies.  That being said, I don’t judge parents who allow binkies later as everyone has to do what works for them.

My girls are both in daycare and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  They learn so much from interacting with other children regularly, have made great friends, and I have met some wonderful ladies through my daycare facility.  However, I must mention that some of the centers that I visited when I was searching for childcare during my first pregnancy made me cry and want to quit my job.

My girls both slept in the pack and play next to my bed for about the first month and then they were relocated to the crib in the nursery.  Co-sleeping was never a consideration for us but that doesn’t mean a fussy baby hasn’t been plopped in between my husband and I on random nights so everyone could get some much needed rest.  When my husband is away on business, I usually let one of the girls snuggle with me in my bed.

We did a modified Ferber-inspired sleep training with my first daughter when she was around 6 months old.  It was hard on me to let her cry for even a few minutes but once she started falling asleep on her own, it was worth it.  Before that, I would rock her, walk her, bounce her, swing her, whatever it took to get her to sleep and then army crawl out of the nursery and tiptoe back to my room.  My second daughter has always been pretty laid back like her daddy and learned to fall asleep in her crib on her own.

I considered cloth diapers before my first daughter was born but decided it was too much work.   I do feel a little bad about this.

The TV is probably turned on in our house too much but I am not worried and don’t think that it’s doing any harm as we are very active with our kids, give tons of attention and the content is monitored.

I remember how sweet candy tasted as a child and I would never deprive my kids of that joy BUT taking good care of your teeth is a mandatory rule in our home.

I used to clean my whole house but now that I am a mom, I am a spot cleaner.  I clean rooms and areas as needed (aka when I can’t stand the mess anymore) so our house is rarely spic and span from top to bottom.  This bothers me.  However, I need to say that we are not slobs.  Dishes are done every day and sheets are changed, etc. but we have a surplus of dust bunnies and lots of laundry laying around.

My days at work are usually easier than my days home with the kids BUT my days home are priceless and I am very grateful to be able to work part-time.  If I had to work full time, I probably would not work.

Becoming a mom did not change who I am but it did change me.

These girls and this guy are what make me great. 

This is me.

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Patty

Patty lives in the Hartford area with her husband, three young children and their beloved labrador. She works part-time as an attorney and is doing her best to balance her career and full-time mommy gig. She feels overwhelmed and crazy at times but knows that she is fortunate to have the opportunity to practice law and raise a family. Patty enjoys hiking and nature and can't wait to take her children backpacking one day. She also enjoys a good sweat and does her best to fit regular exercise into her busy schedule. Patty is excited to share stories and connect with other moms who are facing the same daily dilemmas and simultaneously experiencing the many joys of motherhood.

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4 Comments

  1. Michelle

    Great post Patty! Doesn’t it feel so good to just put all of this out there?!

  2. Lisa

    Loved this. In life we spend so much time examining differences, I love reading about how similar we really are in so many ways.

  3. Melanie

    Patty, I don’t think you were dumb at all for wanting to feel those difficult contractions. I hear so frequently from women who had the epidural early on, or ended up with a c-section, that they regret not being able to feel more during labor – like they were cheated of the experience. No one should tell you that you’re dumb for desiring that natural experience!

  4. vtnative

    Patty-you are a kickass Mom and a great friend!

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