The other day I jumped out of the shower and walked by my full body mirror and had one of those days. I almost screamed out in terror and wanted to run from the hideous beast in the mirror.
This is a huge change for me because I came to terms with my body a long time ago. I was never the tiniest girl (the last time I saw a size two I think I was about 2 years old) and never had huge boobs, but I felt good in my own skin. I knew what my good features were and played those up.
I used to like having sex with the lights on, I didn’t mind wearing a bikini, etc. Then my son came along. I went through 9 months of pregnancy and even then felt good. It was not until after that I began to feel bad about my body. When I say this I do not constantly worry about it but after 6 months I still have maternity pants I wear. So this got me thinking, how we as mothers see our bodies versus our husbands who are the father of our children too. I decided to ask my husband.
He is wonderful to me and has always been an ego booster for me and my body. I still remember when I started dating him and I complained about not being stick skinny and his response was “Katie if I wanted to have sex with a stick skinny, bony chick I might as well be gay. Women should have curves; most women just think we want it when in fact we want a woman.” Swoon, and my heart skipped a beat, but I digress.
So I asked him one night “Hun you have friends who have children and now you do? How do they all feel about their wives post baby body?”
He laughed and responded “You women are crazy; we do not see what you see. Honestly I just see a hot woman who will have sex with me. Most men do not notice all the imperfections you see yourself.”
I stood there and laughed because it is true. Men are not complex or nuts like we are. They just see a woman. So I am going to try and not be so hard on myself. Maybe we should all try that…