I have always thought the terms “working mom” and “stay at home mom” to be somewhat synonymous. Working moms go to work every day outside of the home and stay at home moms go to work in their homes every day.
I’m a mom who works outside of the home for a living and works inside the home to make sure my two daughters have the best possible life I can provide.
I hope to bring a new voice to CT Working Moms as an older mom with older kids. My issues no longer consist of naps, diapers, and daycare but rather boys, puberty and driving to name a few.
Speaking of dating, by daughter has a boyfriend – and so do I. She has no idea what she is in for but I do. Do I impart my hard earned lessons upon her new and innocent love, or do I just let her crash and burn and hope she gets up, brushes off and moves on at least half way better than I did at 16?
The tears and pain are the hardest – not mine as I’d like to think at 49 I’ve had enough therapy and failed relationships to navigate dating somewhat better than I did at 16 – but hers. Having endured the ups and downs of teenage dating without much maternal direction, I have to think about what would have helped me if I’d had the fortitude to ask or the mother who cared.
Listen and share but don’t advise. Understand that the decisions she makes today are the ones that will shape her. And know the decisions you made when you were 16 were, in my case wrong, but in her case irrelevant. And most of all have the faith in her and your parenting to know she is going to learn through pain, gain through pain and love through pain.
But always know there are the times you just throw caution to the wind and go with her to throw the boyfriend who dumped her via text on Christmas Eve sweater on his front porch in the rain. While there is no 12 step program for raising teenagers, having the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference is a touchstone. I would argue it is the last that is the hardest but with work the one most worth figuring out.