I’ve done a LOT of public speaking. I was an actress (albeit not very good) back in the day. I’ve sang in public, danced in public, ran in public, given many a speech in public….and I have NEVER been as nervous as I was this past weekend when my 3 year old son walked down the aisle at my sister in laws wedding.
Parenting, birth, all of it is something you’re given advice about, but until it happens to you, you have no clue what people mean. That’s what this moment brought home to me.
Here I am, standing behind my son saying out loud,”you can do this, please Donald, you can do this, thank you, thank you, good job, you’re such a good boy (he could no longer hear me mind you). Any rational person, um, the bridesmaids, could see that I had gone all but insane, but here I was, totally oblivious that I was about to walk down the aisle myself as a bridesmaid. At that moment in time, it was all about Don, not a thing about me.
My mom had told me my whole life how nervous she had been during my biggest events. I always found her comments weird and slightly annoying. I couldn’t imagine what she must have felt…to no fault of my own. But now as a mom, all I felt was support and fear and love for my son, and I finally knew exactly what she meant.
Being a mom is crazy. It’s amazing and scary and has highs and lows. Don definitely rocked it this past weekend and I definitely lived it up. What’s odd is that I know there are still so many moments to come where I will need to be a rock and support for my son, good and bad. I always knew parenting would mean being selfless, I just never knew I had it in me until this weekend.
I’m definitely scared for the future , but also really excited to see what it brings.