When my husband and I started talking about the prospect of making ourselves a family, I started making myself a Bucket List. I’ll be totally honest here- It wasn’t that I didn’t want children, it was that I was scared about how my life would change post-kid. How would my body change? Would I throw up every day on my drive to work because of morning sickness? How would being pregnant feel? How long before I’d be able to drink Gin & Tonics? Would I run another half marathon? Would I be able to fit into my pre-baby clothes? Ever? Again? So, maybe scared is an understatement. I was freaking out. I started to make all of the excuses in the book to delay the family making starting point. Finally, I approached my husband with my list of pre-baby ultimatums, out of fear that I’d never be able to do these things again once I became a mom. The list was short, but it bought me a few months before I’d have to face reality right in front of me and try not to punch it in the face.
One of the items on my bucket list was to run a half marathon. I ended up running two half marathons within three months of each other before reality set in. One on my own to see if I could actually do it, and the second time with my best friend in Disney World. So no more excuses. No more items on my list to cross off. (And there was no more Tanqueray left in the house). It was literally GO time. Within a few months I found out I was pregnant. I had a great pregnancy- uncomfortable but un-eventful, and before I knew it, I had a brand new baby boy to dress up in preppy polo onesies.
So what of the Bucket List? What about all of my pre-baby anxieties, which now seem totally trivial, but at the time, were so important to me? I’m proud to report that some things never change. I ran a third half marathon 8 months after having Jake, I never had to pull over on 84 on my way to Hartford to throw up on the side of the highway, being pregnant was totally a weird new feeling for me, but not impossible to deal with, and I was able to fit into 90% of my pre-baby clothes (and those 10% that I had to get rid of? Well, thank you new huge and expanded rib cage…) I still think making a Bucket List pre-kid was an important thing for me. It helped me reach new goals that I never thought I’d ever see, and post-kid, reaffirmed what moms have been proving for centuries. Life goes on. Sure, adding another little person to your brood makes life a 3 ring circus some days, but there are always more miles to run, a drink to be poured, and another Bucket List to be made.