Phew. The past few weeks have been crazy. Hectic. Busy. Chaotic. There have been so many doctors’ appointments, school meetings, after-school activities, half days, school holidays, fights with the insurance company, work meetings and important projects, tears, arguments, unhealthy meals, etc. I wake up in the morning and am “on.” Checking email, making breakfast, getting to the bus stop on time. Sometimes I get to take a shower, sometimes I don’t. Then I work, get Max off the bus and the day goes on, with more work in the evenings. It’s the same with every working parent, but throw in multiple doctors’ appointments a week and extra school meetings and there are just so many balls to keep in the air. I was about to crack.
And then, I had an AHA moment. I don’t know exactly when, or why, but this voice came into my head. “Get over yourself.” Huh? What was that? “Get over yourself.” There it was again. Somehow I had finally come to the conclusion that this is my life now. It’s not a busy week or a bad day…it’s just life. It’s my life, my family’s life. It’s busy and unpredictable and we have to be ok with it or else we’re just going to be miserable forever.
And since I’ve realized this, the good times have been better. I’ve enjoyed doing silly things like trying to get my kids to break dance on the kitchen floor or turning off the vacuum to have a dance party to Maroon 5. Since I’ve embraced the chaos, I actually feel more calm somehow. I still have a long way to go, and a lot of work to do, but I’m getting there.
A former coworker of mine had this saying on a plaque at her desk:
and one day another coworker (also the parent of a child with special needs) just stopped at her desk and said “YES! That is SO true.” I understood the message at the time, but didn’t believe it. But now I do. Now I know that it’s not going to end. The storm is never going to pass. It’s never going to be something that we just have to get through like potty training or the terrible twos. It’s learning to dance during the rain storm. I started writing “enjoy the rain” but erased it because I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think I have to enjoy it. I think I have to make the best of it and appreciate the good parts.
So friends, I’ve embraced the chaos, and during the next rain storm you’ll find me and my buddies outside in our rain boots and rain coats jumping in the puddles and dancing in the rain.