When your kids aren’t like you

Dec 9, 2012 by

We’ve always been thankful to have such amazing and healthy little boys.

It’s funny, however, that sometimes it takes a little bit of effort to adjust when your child has totally different interests than you do.

When we found out we were having a boy (both times), Lo and I were excited about some gender-generalized activities. Lo wanted to teach him how to “turn two” as a second baseman and I looked forward playing soccer and watching football with them.

I thought I’d always be able to do things with them and relate to them through activities.

I thought since I liked these things, he would as well.

I thought since I was anti-gun and violence, he’d be a gentle soul.

My 5 year old boy loves video games (which he’s far better than I am at), is disinterested in music, finds watching football boring, wants to take karate, loves swords and guns, and does not like to sit and read, he’d rather find a way to jump from the top of the couch and clear the living room.

This week, I stood in the toy store, trying to figure out which of the many, many items on my son’s list for Santa that he really wanted. He wants Power Rangers ‘Zords, super hero Legos, Nerf guns and a Darth Maul mask with a double lightsaber.

I wanted to buy him a Nerf football, clothes, books, board games and musical instruments.

I’m realizing that he is his own person. He’s at the age where he is expressing his own interests and we cannot force him to be something else. I love this little boy to death and I’m trying to relate to all of these interests.

So, I caved and bought him the one big thing that he’s been asking for all year long (it’s the Red Rider BB gun of our house):

Even though I don’t get it at all.

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Holly worked in business and educational fields before going to law school in 2000. In October 2011, Holly lost her job and spent 10 months of unemployment as a full-time, stay-at-home mom while sneaking in some soul-searching. After working as a lawyer in the private and corporate worlds, now she's working for Yale. Outside of work, Holly is trying to find a reasonable work-life balance that includes work success while trying to get back into a normal home-life schedule. As those pieces are coming together, Holly is hoping to commit to a healthier lifestyle for herself and the entire family. Holly also is developing a new sense of self-awareness as she is committing to meditating and trying to practice mindfulness in a world of chaos. She lives in Danbury with her wife, Lois, and their two spirited and energetic sons, Andrew (8) and Dylan (5).

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