I get weird symptoms when I’m pregnant. The first is that I come down with terrible insomnia. It throws off my perspective and judgment, and I worry that I am going to make some huge mistake. Can I use a knife to chop veggies or are my hands trembling? Can I drive my son to school or is my response time dangerously delayed? Worst of all, I won’t be heading into parenthood 2.0 well-rested whatsoever. I am stumbling into it already depleted and exhausted. Sure, this happened with my son and we survived, but this time around there are two babies on the way and a toddler to take care of. Let’s just say I am concerned. Oh, and did I mention I become a monster from the lack of sleep? Thankfully I have a very patient husband.
Then there is the bloat. At around six weeks I puff up like a blow fish and look five months pregnant. Basically, I look five months pregnant from six weeks until six months. I hid my babies’ bump for a while, but now I can’t. I feel embarrassed to look so astoundingly pregnant when I’m only in my second trimester! Sigh. And it doesn’t just affect the way I look. I am ALREADY having a tough time with mobility with more than halfway to go! I feel like my husband is going to have to buy me a wheelbarrow soon.
I also get this thing called rhinitis. What happens is my nose swells up on the inside, and it lasts until I stop nursing. I can’t breathe, snore at night, and snort when I laugh, and my tongue hurts it is so dry from breathing through my mouth. It sucks. I think it is time to buy a humidifier and see if that helps at all.
Now that I have vented about the discomforts, here are the positive thoughts running through my head. Since I was 12 I wanted a boy and then twin girls. My son turned two not long ago, and now I am pregnant with twins. If G-d took me this far, I am convinced he is going to go all the way and the twins will be girls. In a couple of weeks we’ll find out, and I am getting more and more excited about the big reveal.
I am starting to feel, every so slightly, a bit more confident in the pregnancy. Every week that goes by makes me believe this pregnancy is the real deal! I have two major milestones coming up. First, the amnio in a couple of weeks, which I hope and pray will give us the all clear, and second, the 20 week ultrasound. After 20 weeks, if all is well with the twins, I might let loose and celebrate with a sip of wine. Maybe the sip of wine will help me sleep or maybe the peace of mind will do the trick. Either way, here’s hoping I can catch up on some sleep before the twins arrive.