I’ve never been much for message boards.  I tried my hardest to follow along with the other “knotties” on theknot.com when I was getting married, but I found it too overwhelming.  Do we really have to abbreviate everything when we’re discussing our nuptials?  I’m sorry, but I always thought BM meant something entirely different than my best friends standing up for me at my wedding, and a STD was something you never wanted—outside of the wedding world, that is.  It was too hard to keep up.  I bailed.

I tried the boards again, however, when we were thinking about going to the RE.  I know of others who found a great source of support and knowledge from the other women on the message boards who were going through the same thing.  I wanted that same sense of camaraderie and understanding as we started our journey.  But logging onto the message boards was like stepping foot into a foreign country—one where I don’t know the language. How can I learn more about infertility when I don’t know what the heck we’re talking about?

Looking at the site’s glossary, there are hundreds of abbreviations commonly used during message board chat.  This drives me nuts.  Is it so hard to write out the real words?  (Side note, am I the only one who writes her text messages with full words and proper punctuation?)  There are abbreviations to describe every test, type and amount of bodily function, member of your family, and stage of reproduction.

A particularly crazy message board post might look like this:

“Hi All, since we are TTC I’ve been trying to wait patiently during the 2WW but I think I might POAS using FMU.  We BD so many times this month I hope we are PG, especially since I had EWCM around the time when I O’d.  TMI?  FX for a BFP and baby dust to you all!”

The literal translation:

“Hi All, since we are Trying To Conceive I’ve been trying to wait patiently during the Two Week Wait but I think I might Pee On A Stick using First Morning Urine.  We Baby Danced so many times this month I hope we are Pregnant, especially since I had Egg White Cervical Mucus around the time when I Ovulated.  Too Much Information?  Fingers Crossed for a Big Fat Positive and baby dust to you all!”

The realistic translation:

“I’m hoping I’m pregnant so I’m going to pee on something to find out.”

Confusing, right?  And all the baby dust being thrown around there makes me want to vomit.  Or just log off.

Luckily, the Infertility message boards are much more down to earth.  These women don’t have time for baby dust (thank goodness) and are extremely knowledgeable about their infertility and whatever process they’re going through.  I kind of want to be them when I grow up.

They still, however, have their own language, one that I am desperate to figure out.  Here is a comment I came across today, an answer to someone else’s question:

“Making the decision to move forward [with IVF] is very difficult! I assume your RE is using the MD lupron protocol because of your low-ish AMH. It’s used on people with DOR or low AMH, or poor responders to long lupron protocol (me!). I’m currently using MD lupron and adding stims tonight so let me know if you have any questions! GL!”

MD lupron protocol?  DOR and AMH?  Poor responders?  Stims?  These all sound important, and I probably should know a little about them.  But just reading these posts makes me exhausted, knowing I have so much to learn about IVF. Discouraged, I skim some more responses with similar vocabulary.  Eventually, I zone out, or I sign back in to Pinterest.  At least with all those pictures I don’t have to read anything.

As if the prospect of IVF wasn’t daunting enough, I now feel the desperate need to dredge my way through a ton of research on the subject.  I want to be well-prepared going into our treatments, but I am confused and completely overwhelmed.  Someone get me a dictionary, a medical encyclopedia, Dr. Google, and a Tylenol.

In the meantime, I’ve GTG.  TTFN.  YKWIM?

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