Am I the only one hearing the Law & Order theme music here? Yes? Just me? OK, then. Moving on. Parenting confessions, holla back youngins!
- I am sure I’ve confessed this already, but I’ll do it again, because I feel like I must repent for LIFE over how freakin judgy I was after I had Olivia, my older daughter. Easiest Peasiest baby ever. Thought it was all our stellar parenting. Obvs. UR DOIN IT WRONG, BAD PARENTS. Oh, Audrey. Thank you for setting me straight.
- I don’t like infants. I love being a mom and love my girls so much, but infants? Meh.
- I am a crazy fool in that I daydream about having a third child. I would love to have three children. But, confession two, along with some very other hard and unpleasant factors, makes it just that: a daydream.
- I lay down with Olivia at bedtime every night. Not because she needs me to fall asleep (see: dream baby) but because I love to just be with her. WHEN SHE ISN’T TALKING.
- Olivia eats a peanut butter sandwich (at least one, sometimes two) every single day. She is a picky eater and I’m not fighting with her about it right now. Turn into a peanut for all I care.
- I’ve started using specific curly hair product on Audrey because why should she have to suffer the frizz just because she’s a baby? WHY?
- We only JUST started reading to Audrey. She’s almost 20 months old. All she wanted to do until now was eat the books and I didn’t feel like fighting yet another battle with her.
- I very routinely forget to have the girls brush their teeth in the morning. Getting out the door is chaos and I legit FORGET.
- I drink a glass (or two) of wine almost every night. Yes, this is a parenting-related confession.
- I can’t WAIT to go back to work. I honestly feel like a better mother who appreciates my family more when I’m working. Really.
- My children are at a stage where they prefer me over my husband and while, in theory this is sweet, in reality it’s f’ing annoying. Daddy is perfectly WILLING and CAPABLE of pulling your stool up to the potty, or getting you milk or snuggling or reading you books or playing in the EM EFFING SNOW.
- I turn on the shower and read my Kindle sometimes to get a few minutes to myself.
- If I could let her dress like this every day? I would.
And speaking of princesses…. I sort of feel like I’m supposed to push my girls away from loving princesses and sparkly things and being girly. I was a tomboy. Like, whoa. Like, ten pairs of courderoys and short hair and is that even a girl. But, I LOVE that they’re girly. I love that they love glitter and sparkles and babydolls and princess dresses and I LOVE PRINCESS SOFIA.
Nobody said a princess couldn’t be president. Not that I’d want that job. Fire Golfing Princess looks like much more fun.