Kriste true confessionsFirst and foremost, I love my daughter and I love being her mom, but…

  1. The VERY first thing I noticed about my little preemie when she was born was that she didn’t have nipples!  Yes, she was hooked to every machine imaginable and her survival was not guaranteed, and here I was worried that she would end up as some internet show no-nipple freak.  Apparently, I have kind of a boobie fixation.  I just didn’t want her to be weird.  Well, being weird is okay, just not weird because she doesn’t have nipples! Just in case you’re wondering, all is well, they developed later, but for a while there, I was totally freaked out.
  2. Long showers are my escape.  I haven’t resorted to Stephanie’s trick of letting the water run while reading her kindle (good one!), but I have been known to prolong my shower, especially if I hear my daughter yelling at my husband about something.  Ah, the quiet you get from drowning yourself under the shower stream…
  3. Once and a while, I steal money for coffee from my daughter’s piggy bank. Hey, if you had to survive getting her ready in the morning, you’d deserve Starbucks too-her treat.
  4. Hair brushing.  I hate it.  By the screaming and chasing that occurs when I come near Zoey with a hairbrush you would think that I was plucking her hair out with tweezers.  So, some days, I just skip it.  Baths are starting to be the same way.  (“Yes, that’s my kid, the dirty one over there.”)
  5. Speaking of plucking, I can’t wait until it’s appropriate to wax her unibrow. There. I said it.
  6. I got my daughter addicted to TV at a young age.  We just always had it on for “background noise”.  It was the best baby sitter around.  Now, I totally regret it. She has mastered the art of zoning out to the tube. Ugh.
  7. I yell.   A lot.  Sometimes it feels like no one is listening unless I’m yelling.  Wait, there’s still no one listening? I think I’m doing something wrong.
  8. I am a huge pushover.  Ask me once for fruit snacks, I’ll say no.  Ask me again, and I’ll say, “OK, but you’re brushing your teeth as soon as you’re done.”  (Don’t even get me started on how bad I am at enforcing the toothbrush rule! Once a day if we’re lucky.)
  9. I miss the baby years.  If I could have frozen her at around 9 months old, I would have.  She is a bright, funny, creative 4-year old and I love that.  She is also stubborn, overly dramatic, fresh, and can be a spoiled brat.  It’s kind of annoying. 
  10. I still sleep with her in bed until she falls asleep every night.  A habit I would love to break but don’t have the heart. (See #8-pushover)
  11. Sometimes I feel like Carol Burnett’s character in the movie Annie:  “Some women are dripping with diamonds, some women are dripping with pearls.  Lucky me, look at what I’m dripping with-Little girls!”    So much pink and princess and tutu and glitter.  Play Barbie with me Mommy!  Yikes.   

    Lucky Me!

    Lucky Me!

  12. I love my daughter’s farts.  They just crack me up!  I taught her the other day what my mom used to call it: “You let Fred out!”  Now she talks about Fred all the time. HA!!
  13. I could never be a stay at home mom.  I thought I would have a hard time going back to work after my maternity leave.  I didn’t.  We are both better people thanks to daycare.
  14. I sound like my mother.  Not just in the things she used to say to me growing up, but the way my voice actually sounds.  Freaks my husband the eff out.  (I secretly think it’s hysterical!)
  15. Even though there has never been a scientific reason for why she was born 13 weeks early, I worry that me being a vegan had something to do with it.  Not that I think being vegan was the cause exactly.  I just think I personally could have done a better job eating the right foods.
  16. I get, shall we say, overly proud, when I see my girl behaving and being polite while other kids are yelling, screaming and hitting.  I know that if I wait five minutes the tables will turn, but I can’t help it.  I’m wicked proud of her.

Photo credit

Leave Some Comment Love