You guys, my daughter is outsmarting me. And she is only three and a half. The things she comes out with… leave me speechless sometimes. If you know me at all, you know that is saying something.

Here are a few tidbits from the mind of Miss Olivia…

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Olivia [stretching her back at breakfast]: Oh, my side!

Me: Your side?

Olivia: No. My SPINE. You know, the bones in your back that help you stand?

~~~~~

Me: Olivia, it’s time for bed.

Olivia: I want to play forever!

Me: I understand, but it’s time for us to head up and read books.

Olivia: I am going to put Daddy and Audrey and you in this tiny school bus and then nobody can EVER put me to bed NEVER again HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

~~~~~

Tom: Olivia.

Olivia: [ignoring him]

Tom: Olivia, I have to ask you something. Olivia!

Olivia [singing]: Daaaadddyyyy, I’m not trying to heeeear any queeeestions right nooooooow.

~~~~~

Me: Liv, let’s clean up these toys.

Olivia: What?! I give up. I’m running away.

Me: You are? Where are you going?

Olivia: It’s a MYSTERY.

~~~~~

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[photo credit]

Olivia (from down the hall): Moooom? Can Audrey has a pillow race with me?
Me: A what?
Olivia: (big sigh) A race. On pillows.
Me: Um…
Olivia (to Audrey): Yeah! OK, baby. Let’s DO THIS THING!

~~~~~

Olivia, serenading her sister: Audreeeey Beaaaanie, she’s a young girl, she’s a young girl on the towwwwwn! She’s wearing bear slippers, she’s the best baby on the towwwwwwn!

~~~~~

Olivia: Oh, Mommy. I am so hungry. For food. Or cookies.

Me: How about some pizza?!

Olivia: I’m not big enough to like pizza YET.

Me: Of course. What about a cheeseburger?

Olivia, giggling: Those are ALSO for grown ups.

Me: Oh! Maybe some salad?

Olivia, horrified: Are you KIDDING ME?!

~~~~~

[On New Year’s Eve]

Olivia: Let’s have a snack.
Me: We have to clean up this room first.
Olivia: It’s a HOLIDAY. Let’s EAT.

~~~~~

Me: Liv, time to get dressed.
Olivia: It’s not a school day!
Me: That’s right, but we have to go to the grocery store before it snows.
Olivia: Oh, brother.

~~~~~

Olivia: Mommy, can I drive your car now?
Me: What?! No!
Olivia: Oh, come on. A quick drive.

~~~~~

Me: OK, we’re going to finish up your bath, so only five more minutes to play!

Olivia: What about 25 minutes?

Me: That’s much longer than five.

Olivia: I KNOW.

~~~~~

Olivia [in Audrey’s face]: BABY! Why are you always takin my stuff? I AM BIGGER THAN YOU.

~~~~~

Me (crying, smothering Liv with a million hugs and kisses): Monkey, I love you so much.
Olivia: OK, now get off me, I’m trying to draw a worm.

~~~~~

Olivia: Daddy gave me a present to help me find my way.
Me: What is it?
Olivia: It’s a way finder.
Me: You mean a compass?
Olivia: That’s what I said.

~~~~~

Olivia [in the car on the loooong drive to her preschool]: Oh, MAN, this is a lot of traffic.

Me: Yes, I’m sorry.

Olivia: Tomorrow let’s take a hot air balloon. But Audrey will need her carseat. BUCKLE UP FOR SAFETY, REMEMBER?!

~~~~~

Olivia: Mommy, I has some good news and some bad news. The bad news is Audrey is eating puzzle pieces. And when she’s done? She will puke.
Me: Yikes. What’s the good news?
Olivia: She is quiet.

~~~~~

Yeah. I think we’re in for it with this one.

Olivia1

 [photo credit]

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