This Magical Monday I will do just about anything to get you to set 20 minutes aside to watch this TED talk by Brene Brown on Vulnerability. Vulnerability, it doesn’t sound that tempting does it? Maybe you’ll change your mind when I say that perhaps making yourself vulnerable is the first important step in attaining true (and permanent) inner peace. We may not want to be vulnerable, but who doesn’t want inner peace, right? Well vulnerability might just be more powerful than we thought….and after reading this, you might just want to get yourself some.
We started talking about vulnerability on My Everyday Magic last Friday when my Sunshine Faerie (L.J. McNeil) brought up the subject, opening her post with this sentence: “I had a powerful experience this week where I was able to find strength by allowing myself to be vulnerable. I have not often felt comfortable with vulnerability — in fact, most of my life I have felt it was a sign of weakness. Lately, I see it differently. I see it as a strength, I see it as empowering, I see it as another way to embrace myself and those around me. It is a gift. And I am grateful.”
(And here I’m going to add another plug to that TED talk video. Please watch it. I’ll bribe you if I have to.) My Sunshine Faerie was right ~ vulnerability is a gift. A gift we give to ourselves. I’m not very good at articulating information I’ve read or watched (I’m more of a “oh! that felt good!” sort of person. I retain feelings rather than info) so I don’t have it in me to sum up Brene Brown’s take on vulnerability. But I can tell you that her research on it lead to a personal and professional breakdown on her part, and then a breakthrough…or what her therapist called a “spiritual awakening.”
Brene Brown is a researcher (and a storyteller) and she liked to measure everything, control everything, and put it all into neat little boxes. When her research on shame and fear lead her to people who felt worthy and loved, she discovered the one thing they all had in common was their ability to make themselves vulnerable. She characterizes these people as “whole-hearted.”
Let’s link all that up: When you make yourself vulnerable (i.e. stop trying to control things, people, ideas, outlooks, opinions or circumstances) you let go of shame and fear and you also start loving yourself, start believing you are worthy, and start coming into your true power.
When Sunshine Faerie first started talking about vulnerability, I got excited because it’s a subject that’s been near and dear to my heart for almost 3 years now…but I called vulnerability “authenticity.”
And here is another urge to watch the video because Brene Brown also talks about the power of authenticity.
I don’t know if Brene Brown has any instructions on how to make yourself vulnerable and authentic, but I do, and I’m so freakin’ excited to tell what that is. Can you guess?
Wait for it…..
It’s true! It’s so simple and it’s so absolutely, unequivocally TRUE! Now, I love our little “Confess it” page here on ctworkingmoms and I know how valuable it is to get something off your chest. But in my opinion, the TRUE POWER of confession lies in attaching your name to your shame. Why?
Because it helps you take off the mask ~ the mask that says “everything is perfect, I have it all figured out, I know exactly what I’m doing, nothing to see here.” Let me tell you something, NO ONE is perfect, NO ONE has it all figured out, NO ONE knows what they’re doing all the time, and NO ONE is doing it better than you. We all have things in our life that we want to change, that makes us ashamed, that we’re embarrassed about. And we’re afraid if we admit those things then people won’t think we are worthy of love. I can tell you that is absolute bullshit.
When I started confessing my little heart out, I started loving myself more. And when I read other’s confessions it makes me love them more! When you take off the mask, it allows others to take off the mask. When you are vulnerable and authentic you’re saying “I sometimes do things that I feel bad about but I’m worthy of love anyway…in fact I freakin’ rock and so do you!”
In vulnerability lies incredible, unsurpassable strength. When you have nothing to hide, there is nothing to fear. Do you know how much energy we free up when we’re not hiding in fear?! We free up the energy that makes us realize our worth…and from there EVERYTHING changes and EVERYTHING is possible. And THAT is true freedom. ♥
P.S. My absolute favorite week here on ctworkingmoms.com was the True Confessions week because I absolutely fell in love with everyone in a whole new way watching them unmask their vulnerability. I don’t think I’m alone is this sentiment, as those confessions posts got the most comments out of any other. Once you get started, you just can’t stop. Vulnerability is addicting.
By the way, have you watched that video yet?