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Does anyone else have a child who is obsessed with potty words? I know my two daughters cannot possibly be the only two little crude-talking preschoolers running around out there!

There are a list of words that send my girls into hysterics. You can add any of the following words or sayings to a conversation and it will result in an immediate reaction ranging from, fits of giggles (tears running down their cheeks), yelling, to tattling…”Parker is using potty words!!!!”

Pee,

poop,

butt,

bum-bum,

vagina,

stinky poop,

the ever so redundant…stinky, poopa, butt,

dirty diapers,

penis,

poopy diapers,

tooting,

gasing,

stinky pee,

and butt cheeks.

My four-year old is very much aware that potty words are banned in her preschool classroom. I have heard many a story of friends from her class taking a time out to think about their word choice during morning meeting. My daughter has me convinced that she refrains from such talk at school (at least within ear shot of any adult). I have enforced the same ban of potty talk in my own home, but apparently I am nowhere near as effective as my daughter’s teacher.

Like any rule you try to enforce on preschoolers, the more you push them, the harder they push back. I have discovered that the more I down play the use of potty words, the more my two little trash-talkers realize their use of potty words is not as effective. However, I do have limits and there are a few situations that I simply don’t tolerate; the first being dinner time. It is not acceptable to discuss bodily functions at the dinner table (the only exception is if you are potty training, and you are letting an adult know that you actually have to go). The second is using potty words to incite arguing or name calling, this is not allowed under any circumstance. If I had a dollar for every time the words “She called me…(fill in the blank from the above list)” came bellowing from the toy room I could retire from my job and pursue my dream of becoming a party planner. My personal favorite name, which I would never, ever let my daughters know I find funny in the slightest is the newly coined, “princess bossy bottom butt cheeks.”

Another situation that causes me to second guess my parenting techniques are the ever so dreadful anatomy conversations. In our household we refer to parts of the body by their actual names, hence, my daughters have added both vagina and penis to their vocabulary banks. I correct my daughters if they use the words inappropriately or if they try to use silly words to replace the appropriate ones. However, there are situations that arise that I am not really sure how to tackle. For example, the other night, right before bed, the following situation unfolded:

My two-year old entered our bedroom and announced,

“Boys have vaginas and girls have penises.”

“No, no,” said my four-year old. And for a brief moment I was so happy that my four-year was about to correct her younger sister and that my fabulous parenting techniques have paid off! Except, this is how she responded:

“Boys have snakes coming out of their butts!”

“Gross!” said my two-year old, and off they went to bed.

The conversation was so anatomically inaccurate I didn’t even know where to begin!? The conversation that lasted less than twenty seconds left me with a headache, and many concerns about what their teenager years will hold for me.

 

 

 

 

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