One of the reasons why I love CTWorkingMoms is because it is a source of help for mothers and soon to be working mothers. It is a one stop shop of information and a place where we can relate to the trials and tribulations of motherhood. So how can we translate this help from our blog to help into our “real life?”
What I mean by “real life” is, why do mothers never ask for help from other mothers? I read a very interesting article where it discussed how many mothers will not ask for any help. Why do we not reach out to other mothers who have been through or are going through what we are?
A classic example came up with a fellow blogger who was mentioned an issue she was having with childcare (typical work stuff). Do you know what happened without her even asking? An outpouring of help came from other mothers and the problem was easily avoided. I see this over and over; mothers will never even broach the subject of help but when you ask any mother they would offer a hand in a second.
So what is the disconnect? Is it guilt? Is it trust? Or is it that we do not want to burden others? Do we not want to admit we need the help? Would that make us “less” of a mother if we did?
I think we need to shift our thinking paradigm. We need to open up and trust others to help. Think how our lives could change with just a little extra help.
Do you know how many women could maybe get a moment of peace if they asked their best friend to help watch their children for a few hours? Maybe mom could even get a pedicure or long needed run. How many marriages/relationships would be (slightly) easier if they took the help of a friend or family member so they could go out on a date?
I have been working on this myself and have been very vocal to my friends about offering help. I finally had a break through with a friend the other day. She is going on a business trip without her daughter and her childcare fell through for a few days. After years of offering I almost fell over when she asked for my help. Without thinking a second I accepted and will have her daughter over night. She has less stress and less money she needs to hand out. Was that so hard? It sounded very uncomfortable for my friend which is crazy since we are best friends. But what if this was customary? What if opening yourself up to help was not awkward but normal?
So this week I want all my mothers out there to offer help to one of your friends. Try to get your friend to agree and then ask someone for help. I imagine a world of working mothers with just a little less stress and a lot more smiles.