Being a mom is dirty business and by that I mean, don’t dare to wear white…pretty much EVER! I think we can all agree that kids of all ages are messy and moms are on cleanup duty most of the time so here is my list of the big ten – the Top 10 Dirtiest Mom Jobs:
10. Housecleaner – Even if you have a hired housecleaner, he or she can’t be there all the time. Cleaning crayon and marker marks off furniture, scrubbing sticky juice off floors and vacuuming crunched up goldfish out of the back seat of the car are some of the housecleaning duties on Mom’s list. Oh yeah, and picking up toys and putting them away basically all day long when the kids are home.
9. Chef – Cooking meals can get quite messy especially when multi-tasking with the kiddos. Be prepared for your sweater to get splattered with spaghetti sauce and splashed with dirty dishwater at the very least.
8. Launderer – Keeping cute little clothes from being ruined with stains is a job in and of itself. Soaking blowout onesies, scrubbing leggings with dirty knees and stain-treating mealtime spills are all in a day’s work for Mom.
7. Mealtime Clean-upper – Wiping up the table, helping the kids wash up and sweeping whatever the dog didn’t get off the floor can get dirty depending on what was served for breakfast, lunch or dinner (and on how well the kids behaved during mealtimes).
6. Boogie Wiper – Whether you help your little one blow her nose, suction out the boogies with an aspirator or (gasp) pick them out, keeping tiny noses boogie free can be yucky.
5. Human Burp Cloth – If you’ve had an infant, you know what I mean. Babies spit up on Mom’s shoulders, in her hair and even down the front of her shirt. Have you ever smelled baby spit up? Ew.
4. Nurse Mommy – Sick kids vomit and have diarrhea. Enough said.
3. Dog Walker – Carrying a plastic bag of dog poop around the neighborhood is just plain old dirty.
2. Potty Trainer – Toddlers learning to use the potty don’t always hit the target and it can get extremely messy. Mom is stuck with the job of cleaning pee and poop off of toilet seats, floors and out of big boy/girl underwear. She also must teach proper wiping techniques (front to back and not too much paper). Stripping pee pee sheets off beds after 3AM accidents is not considered overtime.
and the #1 Dirtiest Mom Job is…
1. Diaper Duty – Blowouts, blowouts and more blowouts! It is a known fact that babies poop all the time and changing diapers can seem like a full time job when your child is little. Poop gets on Mom’s hands and sometimes on her clothes. As an added bonus, moms of little boys are often surprised with a wee tinkle if baby boy’s “equipment” is not properly stowed.
I suppose nobody ever said that being a Mom is glamorous and I do have to chuckle as there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for my children.
What dirty mom jobs are on your list?