We’ve heard time and time again about how important it is to the health of our families and relationships to continue to make the marriage a priority after the introduction of children. I understand all that – I really do. I want my children to have a model of a healthy and happy marriage. *I* want to have a healthy and happy marriage.
But on any given Tuesday, when my head is swirling with the grocery list, soccer practices, client meetings, and the dogs’ grooming appointments, romance can feel like one.more.thing to put on my list. Yet another thing to juggle and feel guilty about. And let’s not forget that babysitters aren’t getting any cheaper, I prefer yoga pants to a LBD, and it’s hard to be away from my home and children after doing so for 40+ hours/week at work. So what’s a girl to do?
Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret…I’ve got 3 kids, a full-time job, baskets overflowing with laundry AND I still date the crap out of my wife! I do it with a little trick I call the At-Home Date Night. Okay, yes, the chef’s got an iffy track record and diners have to wash their own plates, but the convenience (and price!) can’t be beat.
A few times a month we get the kids down for bed a bit earlier than usual and enjoy a meal together without the distraction of phones, TV, or toddler squabbles. We have an actual conversation. You know, with adult words and complete sentences. I’m talking RO-MANCE here people!
The kids like to get in on it too…we find some excuse to slip out of the house to “run errands” and they excitedly pick out flowers for mama or make suggestions on what her favorite meal would be (spoiler alert: the next date may include Doritos, hot dogs, and chocolate ice cream). For our last date, my 6 year old helped me make this pudding pie complete with a berry heart on top. This kid is honing his skills early!
The twinkle in their eye let’s me know I’m onto something here. Yes, they should know that their mama is special and deserves some special treatment. Yes, they should know that this is how spouses treat each other when it comes time for them to make their choice one day.
Of course it is not all about the kids – it is for us as well. I married my soulmate. She was standing by my side long before these little people came and changed my whole world and she will be the one standing by my side when they move on and find partners of their own. So even in this chaotic swirling world of working-mom-with-young-children, this is one priority I’m keeping.