A Mothers First “Birth-Day”

Apr 19, 2013 by

Tomorrow will not only be my daughter’s first birthday, but it will be my first “birth-day,” one that I will never forget and hope not to experience again.

My body has changed dramatically since the birth of my daughter, who weighed in at nine pounds! As I write this post I am currently going for physical therapy once a week for sciatica and for my pelvic bone being out of alignment. While I feel so much better since beginning therapy, it still hurts when I do a lot of physical activity.

I frequently think back to the time when I was in my hospital bed, unable to walk and gazing down the hall as other new moms were walking around holding their babies. That still upsets me and I wish that I was able to do the same – to enjoy the days and weeks after my delivery. The worst feeling in the world is having a new baby, juggling all the emotions and anxiety, while not being able to walk and even worse, care for your baby.

Because I was immobile for the first few weeks, I felt helpless, frustrated and sad.  While over time the majority of the pain and discomfort subsided, still, there is some that exists. Here I am one year later, attending physical therapy to heal my pelvic bone.

The one major lesson I’ve learned is that pregnant women need to exercise and stay active. This will not only help their muscles stretch during delivery, but heal them more quickly after birth. I wish I had stayed active during pregnancy, but I was just so exhausted and tired that I didn’t have any energy.

When the day comes when I deliver my second child, I am highly considering a c-section in hopes that I will not endure the pain I did on this delivery. Are there any mothers out there who went through a difficult first delivery and are not wanting a c-section for the second child?

All in all, I would go through what I did again to deliver a happy, healthy, loving little girl. However, I would prefer not to! :)

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Melissa Muszynski

Melissa is the mother to a daughter born in April 2012. She lives in Hartford County with her husband Mike and their German Shepherd Lucy. Melissa has worked in public relations and communications since 2006 and currently works for a global engineering firm in the Hartford area. She is pursuing her Master’s in Communication at Central Connecticut State University. Her favorite pastimes are spending time with her family and friends, cooking and of course partaking in some retail therapy.

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11 Comments

  1. Griselle Torres

    Hi Melissa,

    Thanksfully, I experienced a really great first and only pregnancy, so far. I maintained active. My rule was that after I came out of work was to not lay down on the couch or bed and to slimpy remain active cause otherwise I would want to go to sleep. Since the weather was nice during my pregnancy I would take walks in the park and try to stay outdoors and active. I wasn’t used to having anyone do things for me as I have always been independent, so I made sure to do things on my own, well at least try and not hurt myself or the baby. The day before my delivery I was pretty much still active, in fact running up and down the stairs with no problem. When it came time for delivery I managed to have it easy. Right after the delivery I was anxious to get back up and doing things, I was definitely not used to sitting down and doing nothing. Hopefully, one day when I have my second child I would be able to have a good pregnancy like I did my first time.

    Beautiful picture!

    Sincerely,
    Griselle

    • Thanks for sharing and your right the key is to stay active. With me though, i was so tired and felt likei was carrying a monster truck tire at times, so i wasn’t ale to do as much. I think next time i will get as active as i can before baby and really try harder to maintain that.

  2. Vivian

    Sometimes, you can’t help the (lack of) exercise thing because bedrest or something else gets in the way (excess sickness, excess exhaustion). Pregnancy is a rough time for moms-to-be – if your body could talk, it would probably say, “WTF are you doing to me??!” You did what you needed to do in order to bring your child into this world healthy and happy and STILL survive. Please don’t beat yourself up for the fact that you need(ed) more time to recover than some other moms. :)

    And if birthing was that rough on you the first time, I TOTALLY don’t blame you for wanting to do c-section. There is absolutely no shame in doing c-section. My advice would be this, though. Decide up front which way you want to go because a c-section is major surgery. The chances of complications and the ability to prepare for it, and recovery time is far reduced if you schedule it up front as opposed to having to go into emergency c-section.

    Many hugs to you. I LOVE the photo. You are so pretty!

  3. I am sorry for your pain! I very much wanted a natural birth for my first born. Unfortunately I came down with an infection during labor and things very quickly went downhill. I delivered her via C-section after 14 hours of labor. There is a recovery time from the surgery, I was very uncomfortable in the hospital the next few days, and my movement was restricted in the days to follow at home. I opted for C-section for my second child due to my doctors recommendation. I was still hoping to go into labor before the scheduled date, but it never happened. So I went in for a planned C-section. It was so much better than the first. Everyone was calm, I got a spinal instead of an epidural, my recovery time was shorter. I was picking up my one year old within the week and going up and down to the second floor apartment. Mainly, I was able to plan and prepare. It is never easy for us to decide, and often it ends up not being a decision we are in control of, but best of luck. And Happy Birthday!

  4. I too had a 9 pounder the first time around and I was a bit of a mess for awhile. In fact I was bedridden for two more days in the hospital because he had caused so much damage down there that I couldn’t urinate on my own and in fact for weeks after could only go in the shower (sorry for the TMI) and needed to rest quite a bit. As far as exercise during the pregnancy? With a 9 lb baby inside you, that’s tough to do! I also had sciatica which lasted sporadically for quite a few years but we managed through OK. I was able to have a vaginal delivery the next time around (8 years later!) but my daughter was 6 lbs! If you’re OK with a c-section, I think you should do what works for you. I was afraid of having a c-section because surgery scares me, so that was my choice. No choice is wrong or right and no one should tell you any different. The end result of a happy, healthy baby is all that counts. Happy Birthday and happy birth-day!

    • Thanks denise! When did your siatica start after the baby was born? Mine started just last month when she turned 11 months..is that why you wanted so long to have the second?

  5. AHW

    Be careful choosing to have a c-section – it’s not always as easy as you think. A vaginal birth is difficult, I delivered an 8 and 9 lbs baby but I’d take those difficult deliveries and the healing from huge episomioties and tears over my recovery from a c-section from my twins. It’s four months later and I still have pain from my c-section and difficulty lifting my 4 month olds never mind my 4 and 2 year old. Lots of complications from that surgery and am so glad I never have to do that again!

  6. Jen Seiderer

    Aww, happy birthday to both of you! Sorry you had such a rough time of it. {hug}

  7. i remember your birth story last year. It’s good that you’re blogging about it, for your benefit and for others who might share a similar experience. I strongly suggest seeking out a counselor to help process some feelings about the labor and birth experience!

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