At a recent baby shower for a friend who was expecting twins, I created and read the following “10 Rules to Live By” list. Her babies arrived just last week (8lbs 2oz and 7lbs 1oz…YIKES!! She was carrying 15 lbs of babies!), so in honor of the new additions to her family, I am sharing this list with you.
While these were put together specifically for a twin mom, most of it applies to any new mom. Please feel free to add any additional pearls of wisdom that you have to offer!
10 Rules to Live by for the New Mommy
1. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re doing anything wrong. Different things work for different people. There’s no right or wrong way to do something when it comes to babies – if it works, go with it.
2. (That being said)…For your own sanity, it’s highly recommended that you keep your twins on the same schedule. When one wakes up to eat, wake the other one and feed him. When one needs a diaper change, change the other’s diaper too. Babies are adaptable; they will adjust to you.
3. Realize that breastfeeding is not easy, ESPECIALLY when it comes to twins. Feeding decisions should never create guilt or conflict. What’s important is that your children grow up healthy and happy. People will try to guilt you into breastfeeding (if you formula feed) or into trying harder (if you stop), but few people truly understand what you’re going through.
4. Get out of the house as frequently as possible. One day, you might find yourself feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, isolated, unshowered, and unsure of what day it is. Even if it takes you an hour to bundle the kids just to go out for 10 minutes, it’s important to get into the routine now so that it becomes easier later. Better yet, leave the kids at home with Dad while you go get a massage and a pedicure!
5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and don’t try to do it all yourself. You may be a Superwoman, but you are not a martyr. Ask for help and accept it when it’s offered.
6. Whoever made up the term “sleep while they sleep” was insane. It’s pretty much impossible to sleep at 2PM when the sun is shining brightly into your house and you’re starving because the only thing you’ve eaten all day was a bag of Oreos (ahem!). If you can catch some Zzzzs, then you’re one of the lucky ones. If not, then use the time to do something that’s needed for you like paint your nails, eat a REAL meal, or catch some trashy TV.
7. Make your husband do the dirty work. No explanation needed here.
8. Don’t bother to buy a lot of cute baby clothes now. You’ll end up with bags of clothes that will either never be worn, or be worn only once before they’re outgrown.
9. Try to meet some moms who have kids the same age as yours (doesn’t have to be twin moms) – you’ll find that it’s invaluable to ask questions, compare notes and vent to other women who are going through the same thing as you are. Most importantly, you will build friendships that will last a lifetime.
10. DON’T LET YOUR IN-LAWS COME EARLY (NEVER on day 1!!!!!) AND/OR STAY FOR A LONG TIME. Trust me. Even if you get along with them now, your emotions will be on a roller coaster during the first few weeks. The last thing you want is someone other than your own mother hovering over you. One week is enough, two weeks is too much…four months is a relationship buster.
A little bit of explanation regarding #10. My very high-maintenance in-laws came to visit the babies for the first time when my twins were 6 weeks old. They stayed WITH US (in our house!!!) for exactly 4 months.
…and to clarify, I didn’t eat a whole bag of oreos…I stopped at HALF a bag!!