It doesn’t matter if you became pregnant within a few months of deciding that you wanted to have a baby or if you received a little help from medical science. It doesn’t matter if you have a child of your own blood or if you are a parent by adoption. It doesn’t matter if you are in charge of a small army of children or if you decided that your family is complete with only one. The circumstances do not matter. Initiation is by whatever path leads you to motherhood. It’s the Mom Club and if you’re a mom, you’re a member.
At some point along the way in your journey as a mother, there will be a moment: An “Aha!” moment when you will probably understand and appreciate your own mother, and all the mothers you know, on a new level.
My Aha! moment came somewhere between the birth of my first and second daughters when I realized how much my own mother sacrificed to spend time with me as a child. My mom has never made me feel like she missed out on anything by having me but I know that she wasn’t able to enjoy her young adult years like I did because she had to take care of me.
It was 1977 when I was born and things were much different, yes, but the responsibilities of motherhood were the same. My mom was really just a baby herself by today’s standards and she devoted a substantial part of her life to raising me. My mom is and always has been the perfect mom for me because she is mine and she loves me like only a mom can love a child. My mom is also one of my best friends but she has always been a parent first and foremost. Now, as a mom myself, I can see how important it is to always be a parent first, especially during the rocky teenage years.
After joining the Mom Club, I learned to appreciate my grandmothers more too. My maternal grandmother “GG” not only raised 8 babies of her own but went on to be a loving grandma and great grandma to so many others in our family. I have fond memories of spending time with GG and my Papa as a child which I still hold near and dear to my heart, which include Saturday morning garage sales, picking strawberries and making sock puppets to name a few.
My Aunt Mary, who was also my godmother, was busy with 3 children of her own but still found time to spoil me with love and affection when I was a kid and up until the day she passed away last July. She was more like a second mom to me than an aunt and she dedicated most of her life to her family. Lucky us. I am blessed to have had her in my life and I am a better person and a better mom because of her.
And while I do not know firsthand how my mother-in-law was as a mom, I know that she is a wonderful grandma to my babies and I know that she loves her sons more than words can say and I admire and am so grateful for that.
Each of the Moms in my life has undoubtedly taught me something about how to be a good mom but I think the most important thing that I have learned is that there is no mommy manual and there are no rules. Follow your heart. If you love your children and you do your best, then you’re doing great.
Happy Mother’s Day to all members of the Mom Club! I hope you enjoy your special day.