Anyone else in a funk lately?
I feel like I’ve talked to so many friends who are just feeling a little sensitive, critical of themselves, frustrated with lack of progress on things and it’s all coming out in the form of “I’m not happy with myself right now.”
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like that? Even just once? What about way too often?
Does your brain respect you? How do you respond to the thoughts in your own head that try to put you down?
Why do we allow our own brain to control us with thoughts of blame, negativity, self-bullying? Maybe brains are just made that way, maybe they just look for what’s wrong, what needs to be fixed, not maintaining a clear, awake focus on the experience in front of you.
This is how so many of us talk to ourselves:
- “You fat loser, you couldn’t get your fat butt out of bed this morning to go to the gym”
- “You couldn’t bake something ½ as pretty as the picture on Pinterest, why even try?”
- “Why did you say something so stupid?”
- “You need to not say anything at all because you’ll just come across as stupid.”
- “Ugh, you screwed up again and missed that appointment, you irresponsible idiot.”
Last week, as I sat in a less-than-comfortable airplane seat on a runway (for 2.5 hours), I made significant progress through a book that was at the top of my “WANT TO READ SOMEDAY” list. It was Cheri Huber’s Making a Change for Good. The subtitle is “A Guide to Compassionate Self-Discipline”. Huber also has a great series of books called “There’s Nothing Wrong with You.” Love her stuff, check her out if you can.
Why do we do this to ourselves? As Cheri Huber says, the solution isn’t about “fixing yourself” or even self-improvement. What we should think about is compassionate self-discipline (different than self-improvement, right?) and being AWARE! Ha! AWARENESS. We’ve heard that term thousands of times when talking about being mindful.
“Compassionate self-discipline is simply allowing the intelligence and generosity that is your authentic nature to guide you in every moment. With this guidance you will not only be disciplined, you will be spontaneous, clear, awake, aware, efficient, appropriate, respectful, grateful, kind, honest, sincere, expressive, steady, dependable, responsible, peaceful, joyful, and satisfied.”
Awareness. Compassionate self-discipline. Awake. Sincere. Grateful. Satisfied.
Really? Seems suspect. Sounds like Holly’s trying to rope me into practicing mindfulness again.
Yes, we’re talking about mindfulness. But this time, it’s about focusing completely on YOU and defeating those unfriendly words coming from that brain.
STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP AND START USING YOUR OWN AUTHENTIC SELF TO GUIDE YOU!
To make it easy, here’s how to do it…
Today is August 1st. I only stumbled upon this yesterday , but today is Day 1 of the 31-Day Total Self-Love Challenge. This is a WONDERFUL idea. How many of us need to commit to ourselves for 31 days of focusing on our own well-being?
How many of us can totally use 31 days free of self-bullying? Over-critiquing?
As Rebecca Clegg (an old – meaning “former” – soccer buddy) points out, this commitment isn’t hard. For this month, you will commit to:
1. Stop listening to your inner critic (that negative judgmental stuff)
2. Agree to embrace the positive ideas about YOU
3. Avoid negative judgment of others! (You get what you give, right?)
4. Be AWARE and forgive yourself by starting anew tomorrow!
Please join me!