I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: my husband is incredibly supportive and an equal household partner. We work hard to ensure that no one person is getting the lion’s share of the work, even though at times it might feel that way. That all changed last Thursday.
Honey got sick. Really sick. Less than 24 hours after he took Kitten to the doctor for suspected walking pneumonia he started to feel not quite right. He took the day off to rest knowing he had a full weekend of yard work and family plans ahead of him. Saturday morning he woke up feeling worse than the day before. No yard work. I took the girls and headed to a birthday party in the hopes that he might feel up for a family outing in the afternoon. No such luck. None of us were feeling great so we stayed at home to relax.
It was then that I realized what a hardship it was to be a man down. In our house, Honey is the one who brings the fun. He’s the rough-houser, the family adventurer, the swing pusher. Without him, the fun fell to me, and I failed miserably. Sure I threw together some activities even though I too wasn’t feeling the greatest but I wasn’t Daddy.
Lovey and Kitten played with cloud dough and for once I didn’t care about how messy they got, although I might have ruined their clothes. (Don’t use whole wheat flour.)
We took the bikes out for a spin. Lovey even did some pedaling by herself which was a huge accomplishment for her.
Despite my attempts at bringing the fun, we still needed Daddy. He rounds us out and the weekend just wasn’t the same with him lying in bed trying to get well.
Monday brought no improvement, neither did Tuesday. By this point I was five days into solo parenting and taking care of a sick husband and I was starting to lose it. I was sleeping terribly and oh BTW I started working out every day at 5AM. Tuesday I really didn’t think I could stand another day but Honey was.still.sick. The house was a mess. Lovey’s project for school hadn’t been started. There were piles of laundry everywhere and toothpaste in the sink. My work performance was less than stellar. Did you notice I’m posting my weekly blog on Friday instead of Wednesday? Yup, that too.
I harnessed all my mommy strength to get through the rest of the week. I relied on help from our nanny who pitched in to do a little extra around the house. I also relied on coffee to keep me moving through the long days of morning routines, work days full of meetings, texts from sick husbands, kid doctor’s appointments, kids classes, dinner, bedtime routines…lather, rinse, repeat.
I have always appreciated the equal partner I have in Honey, but every time he gets sick (which is probably only once a year), I learn to appreciate him even more. I also appreciate and respect all the moms who are:
-whose spouses travel extensively for work
-who have a spouse who works odd hours, or opposite them
-have a spouse who works long shifts
-who have little support outside the family
My hat is off to you ladies. The single moms and single moms during the week I know make it look easy, even effortless. After this last week I know that’s the farthest thing from the truth.
Now that Honey is better and we are back to our normal routine I hope that I can try to offer some support to the moms I mentioned above, even if its just a play date so she can get an hour to herself. I’m lucky enough to have the support I do and I don’t ever want to take it for granted.