I went on a bender and it felt so good even though it was so bad. After almost four years of pregnancies, nursing, carrying extra weight from fertility meds, and then delivering twins, I finally lost it. BLACK YOGA PANTS BE DAMNED! It was time to revamp my wardrobe.

I am slowly getting rid of my maternity clothes and as I glacially lose weight (can someone please explain how I can produce over a pound of milk per day and not lose more?), I am tossing my collection of frighteningly cheap t-shirts with spit up stains all over them in sizes large enough for sumo wrestlers. I have only bought the crappiest of quality clothes over the last few years; I think they were designed to be disposable. And yet, my husband thinks I am a big spender. $3.99 t-shirts? That is big spending? The only women wearing thinner shirts than me are in music videos. I am not sure what more I could do to save money. Maybe grow my own local organic fig leaves to wear?

So, the other day, and after the millionth time I tried to convince my husband I am not a big spender, I decided to show him what a big spender looks like. So I went shopping. Twice in one day. And then online. And you know what? It felt SOOOO good to buy myself a few nice things. Things that actually fit correctly and are flattering. Items that make me walk taller, hold my head up, and take me eyes off the ground.

I bought shoes and a purse. I went to a favorite store and bought three shirts (all on sale!) I bought a pair of earrings and then splurged online and bought a wrap bracelet from another site I drool over. I bought two pairs of jeans. And I bought a top and skirt from a designer I have lusted over for years. I was weighed down with shopping bags yet felt lighter than I had in a long time. As I was leaving the department store, a pair of boots in the shoe department caught my eye. So much so that I hurried over to take a closer look. So much so, in fact, that I asked to see a pair in a size 9 even though they were insanely expensive. When they told me they only had one pair left in a size 6 I exhaled. Had my size been in stock I would have faced a terrible dilemma: to buy or not to buy.

A couple of days later my husband gave me a $100 gift card for another department store. He closed a credit card account but redeemed points we had accumulated. The wheels started turning in my head. I check the store’s website and THE BOOTS WERE THERE! I asked my husband if we had any points elsewhere that we could cash in. Three days later, another $75 in department store gift cards arrived. I was still about $200 short. Next step: eBay. I bought a pair of flats last year at a big discount (courtesy of a conference I attended). They do not go on sale often and since I had never worn them, I thought I might be able to sell them for a decent price. Listed and sold in less than an hour…another $130! So, I was now only about $70 short. I checked the website the following day and lo and behold, the beloved boots were 15% off! A couple of clicks here, a couple of deep breaths there, and the boots were on their way to my door step!!! And I think I paid maybe $20 for them! I felt like I got the deal of the century. The boots are the coolest thing I own now. Much cooler than I am. I was so excited when they arrived. My husband was not. Did I mention he was a vegan and the boots are leather? He disapproved on many levels.

So, yes, I lost it. I went binge shopping. I spent more in 24 hours on clothes and accessories than I had in four years! I have no regrets. It felt great! It also feels great every time I put one of my new purchases on. The only thing I wish I had done differently was doing it as a reaction to a disagreement. I wish I had gone shopping simply because it makes me happy and that my husband had been supportive. But he saves for tomorrow, while I live for today. Four years into our relationship, we’re still trying to strike a balance. In the meantime, I will be walking tall, head held high, looking fabulous in my awesome new boots.




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