Now I don’t know about any of the rest of you, but I always knew that my parents had sex at least twice. As a result, my sister and I were born. Other than that, the thought of my parents having any kind of intimate life eluded me. Who would want to do that anyway? It wasn’t anything that a teenage girl wanted to think about, but I guess that’s what you HAVE to do to make babies.

Well of course I grew up and got the whole adult fun time and the result was my four beautiful daughters. So I figured that when my children were growing up they must have thought the same thing that I did as a naïve child.  I’m sure they couldn’t envision “the Act” being performed by Mommy and Daddy.

“David… PLEASE put a lock on the bedroom door!”

I requested this little favor for many years, but I truly believed that my husband sort of liked the adventurous thrill of getting caught. He always assured me that I should just relax and not worry about it, which of course I always did. Years passed and the three older girls grew up and I’m sure they knew what was going on behind the closed door if Mom went to bed and Dad followed. (My husband is a rabid reader and there wasn’t much in the world that would move his nose out of a good book. So I think they figured it out!)

But then came Steph! She was 14-years old at the time and we had said our “Good Nights,” trotted upstairs, and went to “bed.” Now I’m not kidding that I always had a phobia about “getting caught” and this night was not different. But as we all know, in the heat of it all you tend to forget about things like that until….

THE DOOR OPENED!!!

There we were on our bedroom floor in a compromised position to say the least and there stood my daughter with the light streaming in the room!

Scared Steph

“Oh, SORRY! Ah, ah, ah, oh, ah…

And there we were! Caught butt naked! You never saw two people scramble so fast in your life! My daughter now recounts that my husband moved so fast he could have won a road race if the bed were down the street! Pretty embarrassing to say the least and I was ready to kill my other half. She closed the door and I got my robe on and scurried to her room to try to talk to her but if I recount correctly she didn’t want to talk about THAT! She must have thought the same way I did when young that THAT wasn’t something she could imagine us doing!

As the years passed her sisters and I always recounted how we “Scarred her for Life” for seeing such a blatant display of passion and would laugh out loud at the whole spectacle. Her elder sisters just thought it was cool that “old people” still “did it” and would laugh all the more. We lived in that old Victorian for near 22 years and when we moved I just recalled that fun times and funny things that surrounded it. And I also know that my husband never DID put a lock on that door….

I blame it on the Y chromosome.

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