I am going to help every person out there know what to do for gifts for mothers of newborns (whether it is the first or any). The best part about it is that these gifts do not cost any money or are very cheap. Most mothers have wonderful baby showers where we are given a bunch of stuff that while it is convenient is really not necessary to help keeping the child alive. (Hmmmm, you mean the wipes warmer hasn’t been around since the dawn of time?)
As a new mother to a newborn you are basically turned into a zombie who is at the beck and call of a little tiny human who demands your attention 24/7. So things like personal hygiene, cooking and cleaning get pushed aside. As much as you try it is difficult to get the motivation to clean the dishes when you haven’t slept more than 2 hour clips for two weeks straight. At that point you are just trying to stay sane so you can continue to keep said baby alive.
So before you come visiting this new mother with basically a bunch more crap she needs to clean I will share with you what we really want but will never ask for.
1. Please come with some easy to heat food and if it is healthy that is even better. We have not been able to cook and with the lack of sleep we should not be allowed near any open flames. So something that can be heated up quickly and easily is amazing. Even better you can feed it to us while it is still hot. We have been living off of cold food for the past month.
2. Offer to do a load of laundry for us. While you are visiting clean clothes are always helpful. We will of course tell you not to worry and we have it under control but this is the typical response of women. We never ask for help. Do not listen to us and go throw a load in.
3. Offer to watch said newborn while we take shower. We have not showered in days and you probably can smell us. Again ladies we will not accept at first but if you insist we have no will power.
4. If the baby is a little older you can even offer to watch the baby while we go get a pedicure/free time. This will never be asked. One of the best gifts was a family member who came over with a gift card to get a pedicure, called my girlfriend and came over to watch my son for two hours. It felt sooo weird to be pampered after being stuck in the house with a newborn for a month. It made me feel human again. If you can push this I would.
5. Basically think about the everyday things you have to survive and assume we can’t get to them. If you can do more than just come over and cuddle the baby it will be helpful.
There is a common theme throughout this post. Mothers have a problem with asking for help and will always turn you down for this at first. YOU must not be fooled. They need help and when you push it down their throat they will thank you. Their resolve is not high due to lack of sleep so it should not take too much to change their mind.
So to all the people out there who are wondering what they should get for a new baby and her mother. Screw the new outfit the baby will probably vomit or shit in. Give your domestic help or babysitting skills. Every mother needs it, but none will ever ask.