There are a lot of grown up decisions out there that require you to (wo)man up and put your big girl pants on. I think there are a handful that are super big, like deciding to get married, to buy a house and to have children. As sad as it sounds, even buying a house or getting married are decisions you could probably reverse should you change your mind once you’re in it, so maybe having kids is the biggest decision?
However, the decision to have a child wasn’t too difficult for me. I knew I wanted to have one. I saw myself with a child. She had dark hair and dark eyes just like me. She had the same bowl haircut I had as a child and the same deep dimples that I used to hate. I was lucky to have found the man I would share my life with when we were both just high school kids and lucky that we’d been able to weather the years. I was lucky that we both knew we wanted to have a child. I can’t remember exactly how we decided to just go for it. If I remember correctly, my group of book club friends had all started having babies and even though I’m a few years younger I decided to join them. We had no idea how long it might take to get pregnant, so we went for it. I’ve said before, you’ll never have enough time or enough money, so if you see yourself with kids in your future, just go for it!
We were lucky, it didn’t take long and my pregnancy was uneventful. And even though the birth and first several months were nuts, we decided to start trying again when our first daughter was about 18 months old. Had we waited until she was two, we might have decided differently. But here we are – a family of four. In about two weeks, we’ll be celebrating our second daughter’s first birthday. So, where do we go from here? The size of my house and my bank account tells me we’re done. The bags under my eyes tell me we’re done. My husband doesn’t push and isn’t one to want to “try for a boy” but he is one of four kids (all boys). He’s mentioned that our youngest really seems like a middle child because she just goes with the flow so well. And as she rapidly approaches toddlerhood I’m already missing the baby days. I’ve had instances where I’ve loaned out or given away baby clothes or maternity clothes, which is something I probably would not have done if I was positive I wanted another. But I wasn’t exactly driving them down to the Goodwill and I certainly had some anxiety seeing them go. Even if I’m 95% sure we’re all set with two kids, making the “final” decision seems like a pretty big step. For us for now, I guess we’ll just wait and see. We don’t really have to make any decisions. I do hear that the jump from two to three isn’t nearly as big as from none to one or from one to two. If there’s anyone out there with three kids, do you think that holds true? How and when did you decide to go for number three?