“Why the &*#! is it so loud in here?!” I scream.

Okay…so the only screaming is in my head. If I were to actually say these words out loud, I would have to admit defeat. My kids have finally won the battle for my sanity, leaving my wife to carry on without me. Honestly, this isn’t my baseline. Please understand that I’ve had it with the cold weather, snow, sick days, and pretty much everything having to do with winter.

On an intellectual level I understand that we are all struggling with cabin fever. I realize that now I have company. It’s strange to watch how this little family we created responds to the seasonal changes. My son is irritable and challenges everything…all the time. He’s the person talking incessantly, at the top his lungs, while using his indoor voice. Our daughter seems more ‘checked out’ more often, even though she has had some major development gains. Ironically, imitating her brother’s annoying behaviors.

How do the parents fair? Well, Sharlene seems to balance us all. When things are getting a little challenging, she breaks into super perky Mommy mode. Planning, organizing, cleaning, and on and on. I get super quiet and super irritable. If we are both conscious of how ridiculous our life is at the moment, we can usually laugh our way through it. Sarcasm can go a long way to getting through long winter evenings. At the worst of times, we snipe at each other and apologize later.

As I am writing this, I have headphones on my ears and I’m blasting Soundgarden’s SUPERUNKNOWN. As the latest song ends, Like Suicide, I’m hoping Kickstand is next. Anything…anything to drown out the sound of endless talking…screaming… banging…and interupting that has been the last three days with my family. Perhaps I need to switch to Rage Against the Machine.  That always works when I’m on the edge. Its funny, I didn’t realize that I have an inner adolescent boy that screams to be let out in the form of 90’s rock.

On a personal note, I hate admitting that this season is a challenge. Winter blues, the January’s, Cabin Fever, or Seasonal Affective…blah..blah. It’s admitting that I struggle, which is human. Damn it!

Like so many aspects of parenting, I am aware of how important it is to model this ‘human’ struggle well. So, I choose to put on my headphones and write. Next weekend we have plans to play dodgeball as a family. I’ve decided that I may ‘model’ some healthy expressions of anger through exercise. Using soft foam balls…that I can throw (gently) at my children and wife!

Leave Some Comment Love