You know what I mean! You need 24 MORE hours in the day to get done what needs to get done…
AND I DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY BABIES AROUND ANYMORE!
But I have my mother, and my sister who has a husband who should be in rehab and my poor husband who works second shift (that truly sucks!) and who really needs to retire but can’t because he ‘robbed the cradle’ so to speak and has to work until he’s 70 just so I will have health insurance!
Yes, I know… I’m venting, and whining and complaining, and I don’t usually do that. I usually write about days gone by with my children as toddlers or teenagers or whatever, but I was the oldest. I was expected to pick myself up by my bootstraps. I was the first one in my family to go to college, win scholarships, work a high-pressure job while managing a nanny and four babies. (All C-sections mind you!)
So I apologize before I start this short little rant. I normally don’t hold pity parties for myself. It goes against my grain. I was my father’s daughter. My sister could be a twin of my mother! I can hear him now, God rest his soul…”You can be whatever you want to be. You just have to work at it.” I do miss him terribly.
Well that might have worked in the WWII era, but it seems a lot harder these days to keep your head above water. And the pressure to do so can sometimes, no, many times, be overwhelming. So what is a working Grandma (or Mom) to do???
I wish I had the answer.
I’m supposed to fly out to OR next week to teach a pastel workshop. I’ve been looking forward to this little ‘vacation’ for almost a year. But now that is has arrived I am anxiety ridden because I need that extra 24 hours! Plus the fact, I’m a lousy jet passenger. I can’t sleep in any moving vehicle. Xanex, martinis, wine, Tylenol PM… I’ve tried it all. I’m not in control of the plane! That’s my problem. I like most of us working moms or grandmas are control freaks and I’m not driving the plane!!!!
There is no answer to my dilemma. I am sorry to vent to you wonderful women who are positive and beautiful and inspiring. It’s just that I felt I could confess how I feel right at this very moment in front of my laptop when I have so much to do before I get on the plane to head out west. I won’t LIKE this on FB. I fee safe within the confines of our blog. I love you all for your encouragement and I know that when the time comes I will walk through security (I hate the TSA, they always steal things out of my suitcases), and walk onto the jet, and transfer flights and do all those things I hate to do to finally land and spend 10 glorious days with a super wonderful pastelist on the west coast who I feel is like a brother to me.
In the meantime, there is always Red Wine!