It’s been a rough week.  We said goodbye to Nana, the adrenaline rush of being back at work has run out, we all seem to be coming down with something, and baby’s “sleeping like s$%#” phase is lasting so long that I’m starting to think it’s not actually a phase.  When I sat down to write my blog this week, I couldn’t get all the stupid, complainy thoughts out of my mind, so I decided to just barf them all out at once for your reading pleasure.  Here you go, a list of some of the stupid, trivial things that are bugging me right now.  I’m super cranky – you’ve been warned.

Things that require batteries to work.  Because we spend about as much per month on batteries as we do on electricity.

The music of things that require batteries to work.  Your synthesized bastardization of beautiful classical pieces makes me sob into my pillow at night.  I also find myself humming you in the shower, at my desk at work, in the car… And you sound super creepy when your batteries are running low, which is ALWAYS.

Velcro bibs.  Not only do these irritate my baby’s neck (and my soul), but you have to stick the velcro together on each bib before you put them in the wash to avoid having each clothing item come out with four bibs stuck to it.  We have about a jillion of these things, meanwhile only two with snaps, and seriously like a million more that tie.  Aside: Who actually uses the ones that tie???

The Binkie.  Like an on-again-off-again boyfriend, I love you, I hate you, I need you, I’m googling how to get rid of you.  Because of you, baby sleeps great and stays happy.  Because of you, I’m up 37 times some nights and end up sitting in traffic with a screaming baby in the back.

My breast pump.  Disclaimer: I am super thankful to have a milk supply and to have had the opportunity to feed my baby breast milk.  However, not only am I still somewhat resentful of the fact that I’m not nursing full time, but I am totally resentful that I have to hook myself up to this machine multiple times a day.  I plan my day around my pumping sessions and can never be away from the pump for too long.  I would sometimes love to drop kick it across my living room, but that would just make life more complicated.

Baby clothes that are not black, brown, or navy.  Which for baby girls, is all clothes.  Whoever  decided that babies should wear pastels obviously didn’t have a baby.  Because they poop on themselves.  All the time.  Most ingenious idea ever: I am going to start a line of baby clothes where every item is poop brown.  No pre-treating required, and everything matches.

Things that have days of the week on them.  Cute concept, horridly impractical.  If you’re like me, you either 1) cannot find the item that goes with the day of the week it actually is, 2) cannot remember what day it is, or 3) cannot in good conscience use a Wednesday bib on a Saturday.

Thanks for reading – I feel better already!  What stupid little things are annoying you this week?

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