Wow, guys. Just… WOW. I swear to you, my children must have secret meetings during which they pull up a spreadsheet and go over who is in charge of making me crazy that day/week/month/year.

The last three years belonged to the reigning champion of Audreying Around, Miss Audrey. But, LO, THE TIDES HAVE TURNED.

Audrey is segueing nicely into a normal, mostly sweet and awesome, periodically tantruming and always strong-willed three-year-old. It’s been pretty glorious, I have to say. I like her quite a bit.

I mean, come on. LOVE HER.

Olivia, however, has seen the opening and lunged for it. I mean, with ALL HER MIGHT. I mean, really, given the legacy she has to live up to, it’s no wonder she came out of the gate strong.

I don’t know where my mild-mannered, loving, sweet, polite preschooler went, but she’s been replaced by a pod person.

Please tell me this is a phase. It is, right? She’s going to be five in July. Here are some of her favorite  tricks:

  • Ignoring us. Like, entirely. Forever.
  • Back talk. OH, THE SASS.
  • Having the last word. (This drives me INSANE, but honestly? I’m not sure she understands what I mean about not doing this. Regardless, I hate it. Just shh. STOP TALKING.)
  • Screaming.
  • Being rude.
  • KICKING THINGS LIKE OH SAY THE BATHROOM DOOR WHICH IS CLOSED BECAUSE I AM PEEING THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND OH NO YOU DIN’T.

This is all standard issue preschooler stuff, right? And yes, we discipline her. She is becoming very familiar with her room lately. We are working on the follow-through. I know. That’s key. It’s miserable for all of us if we have to skip a planned fun event due to bad behavior, but it’s necessary. Bah. Boo.

This is a drawing of me, crossed out, because it was time to leave THE ICE CREAM PLACE.

I hope this ends soon. I miss my daughter. At least she still loves Audrey.

Shh, baby. It’s ok. I’m here.

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