Yes, Ladies I had my second child. After all my bitching and complaining about pregnancy, I finally gave birth to my daughter Mabel. I have a lot to blog about over the next few weeks about the fun, craziness, wonderful and not so wonderful things that come with having a second child.
I basically wanted to talk about the differences between being a first time mother and a second time mother at least from my perspective.
So here it is First Time vs. Second time.
First Time: Nursery
Oh ladies you know how it is, that perfect looking nursery that looks like it jumped out of the pinterest pages. Not only was it perfectly put together with taste and elegance but you had it done by 25 weeks.
Second Time: Nursery
Still haven’t finished the nursery. I did pay my sister’s boyfriend to paint the room finally at 38 weeks as I am trying very hard to not do for my daughter what I did for my son.
First Time: Pregnancy and information
The first time you read everything! I mean everything from “What to Expect when expecting” to boards online. You absorb ideas of sleeping patterns, what you can eat, mattress types, how much coffee you can consume, breastfeeding, labor process, almost anything that is related to babies you read it.
Second Time: Pregnancy and information
Wait did I have time to read a fucking book with a full time job and toddler? Uhhhh no, and honestly I think most of it is crap scare the hell out of you. Do not get me wrong I am glad I read what I did but I did have sushi in moderation and oh my GOD I had coffee, or a glass of wine and do not regret it. I realize that there is something in me that the books do not touch upon.
Mother Instinct and that your children are individuals. You will learn many things in motherhood that only you will know since you are his or her mother and have an innate sense of instinct when it comes to your child. So basically I didn’t read one ounce of parenting books the second pregnancy and wanna know what? I was way less freaked about everything.
First Time: Confidence
There was no confidence at all the first time around. I actually remember thinking as I was leaving the hospital with my son “Who the fuck thinks I am responsible enough for this job?” I was completely scared of the unknown and my abilities as a mother since I had never done this before.
Every little cry freaked me out. I would over analyze EVERYTHING! He had a sniffle and I could somehow think it was some horrible disease that would possibly kill my child. While it is good to be cautious but damn it is draining on your psyche.
Second Time: Confidence
I pretty much thought “Hey didn’t kill the first kid, so I must be doing something right! Right?”
Honestly it is sooo much better coming home the second time. You may not know the exact nuances of your new person (this is a whole other blog about how different your children will be) but you know in your soul that everything is a phase. My son was the easiest baby, but my daughter not so much. She has been colicky (again another post) but it did not frazzle me as much as I would have thought. It sucked to have to deal with it but I knew in my head that it will end at some point. I found myself asking friends who went through it more for time frames than freaking out, or thinking I did something wrong, LOL. I would walk around for hours wondering when it would end….because I knew it would.
First Time: Post Partum Sex
Hurts like a bitch, like a “I’m a virgin” BITCH
Second Time” Post Partum Sex
Guess my body is accustomed to child birth and is so used up it doesn’t phase it anymore. It was SO much more enjoyable. So have faith ladies 🙂
First time: Sleep
You get none, but can get naps sometimes
Second time: Sleep
You get none….like none at all since your other child doesn’t give a rat’s ass how many times you got up. Hopefully you have a wonderful partner who will help you with this so you do not go insane.
First time: Love for your child
Your heart explodes.
Second time: Love for your children
Your heart explodes even more.