The other day I was thinking about how much I love and how much I hate breastfeeding.

YUP I am going to say it out loud “Sometimes I fucking hate breastfeeding.” I do not have any hard core view on what is better breastfeeding, or formula and this is not the debate of this piece. (I personally don’t care what you feed your kids as long as you are feeding them that makes you a great parent in my eyes)

I am the type of person who needs to bitch about stuff and then I let it out of my system and feel better. I breastfed my son and am breastfeeding my daughter but honestly there are so many things people do not tell you about breastfeeding and I think all mom’s should hear some of it.

1. The beginning is a total mind fuck and HARD!

Breastfeeding is not like the movies. The baby doesn’t gently crawl up your stomach to latch easily and all is perfect. For most women including myself I had never breastfed before I had kids (Shocker right? LOL) so I had no clue what I was doing and the baby is a newborn so either did he. The first two or three weeks are the worst. You are hormonal, miserable, tired and trying to appease a screaming newborn every two hours. I didn’t know if he was latching correctly, sure he was getting enough, and so many other crazy thoughts only one person can have on no sleep.

I was lucky I had a great breastfeeding support group who helped me through the worst time ever I see with breastfeeding. I was also told if I could get through the first 2-3 weeks it somehow gets better, and it did for me.

Absurd

 

2. YOU are tired all the time, because you are basically on your own. 

I wish my husband had breasts. The reality is I have the breasts and I have the milk so I get the job of night after night, hour after hour getting up to feed the newborn. I know it is a connection, blah, blah, blah but man it is so tiring. Working or not, getting up over and over again with no one else is hard. People always say “Why don’t you pump and have your husband give a bottle?” (Hell I asked the same before I had kids) What people (including myself) do not understand is it is a supply and demand thing. Once you start skipping feedings, your body regulates to not make that feeding anymore and don’t even get me started on how annoying pumping is.

So freaking tired!

So freaking tired!

3. PUMPING blows.

For me pumping was and is so obnoxious. If breastfeeding is hard, pumping is even harder. It is such a pain in the ass to lug around the pump, remember all the parts, and then find a place to hook up to and be a cow for 10-20 minutes. I especially hate pumping because I am in sales and am on the road. So I end up finding a parking lot, covering myself in a sheet and hoping my big floppy cans do not fall out the side and offend someone.

Stress comes from pumping when you go back to work as well. You get anxiety if you do not make enough to cover what the baby ate during work, or even worse you can’t pump when you think you should have. Oh and did I mention you look and sound like a cow when you pump.

cow

4. YOUR BOOBS get ruined.

I know with age our tits start to sag but man when you add breastfeeding into the mix you end up with two poached eggs nailed to a board. My boobs before were never big (actually nice to have big boobs I won’t lie) but when you are done breastfeeding the results just suck. I literally have saggy boobs that some how shrank. Seriously they are smaller than they were before I started breastfeeding. Now that I am on my second I have booby stretch marks as well.

I now know why push up bra’s were invented and thank god!

My boobs look more like this..

My boobs look more like this..

 

While I complain about this I also love breastfeeding but probably not for the reasons most do. Yes, I love being close to my kids, but for me it is more about money, ease (after the first 3 weeks) and vanity (loose 500 calories a day).

 

I guess what I am saying if just like everything else with kids I have a love-hate relationship: thank god they make them cute so I don’t hate anything too much. Thanks for the vent 🙂

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