5-24-14 sisters love

Sometimes being a mom feels so good. There are so many great hugs and kisses. There are so many kind words. There are even tender moments between siblings every once in a while too. Sometimes being a mom is so tough. I feel so totally out of control right now. There are so many things that my almost four year does that drive me up a wall. My mom is an amazing resource for my family and one of the things she stresses is that if at all possible, you decide how you will react to a situation before it happens. Have a plan. You might not know the first time it happens, but it will likely happen again and the next time you will be ready. If you have a plan, you’re more likely to be able to keep your cool and you’re more likely to be able to be consistent. I am all over the place lately and I think my daughter can sense that I am grasping at straws to decide how to react to these newer situations. She also has four adults very involved in her home life and chances are we’re all reacting a little differently. I think it’s also important for my husband and I to make time to talk out these situations so I don’t find myself “correcting” him in the heat of the moment. So in order to help myself, I am going to list out our current struggles as a first step to help us think about how we’d like to handle them.

  1. She’s using a lot of negative words toward her sister: I hate her, throw her in the garbage, give her to another family, BAD “S” (her sister’s name), I never wanted a sister.
  2. She’s being physical with her sister: pushing her down as she runs by her, pushing her away if her sister gets too close to something she’s using.
  3. Instead of asking for something nicely, she demands it at increasingly higher volumes until the demand/request is acknowledged.
  4. Playing with doors, specifically shutting a door in my face as I am about to leave a room. Hanging on doorknobs. This is mostly done as a game, but it infuriates me.
  5. Refusing to take off clothes/go to the bathroom/brush teeth for bath time. Running around the house naked and laughing. This is the time of the day when I am just not in the mood to chase her down to get ready for bed.
  6. Poking around instead of getting herself dressed and ready to go before school. She doesn’t usually just flat out refuse to do something, but will do everything in her power to do the things I ask of her as slow as humanly possible.

I originally started this post thinking I would list something I’d try for each of the above, but after taking the time to list them out, I am just feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Maybe you can offer your advice on any of the above situations and share what has worked for you. Ultimately these things become struggles of power, which is the exact opposite of how I’d like my relationship with my children to be. If anything, this list has started some much needed dialogue with my husband and gives me a little self confidence to begin moving past feeling out of control and move toward working with my wonderful kiddo on these issues and improving my reactions that are causing family strife.

 

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