I am a true believer in the power of laughter and that there are many times in life where if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. Especially when you’re an exhausted mom. That being said, I thought you might enjoy ending the week with a little comedic relief. You might be able to relate to a few (or more) of these little anecdotes, some of which are mine and some have been shared with me by friends. They might make you feel sentimental, or a bit relieved that you (or your kids) survived that stage, or perhaps just plain thankful that you’re not the only one who feels as if they’re living in a circus.
Being a mom of young kids means…
…occasionally having to use a pair of tweezers to pull various objects out of certain body parts. For instance, that time you had to use tweezers to pull a crumpled paper ball out of your precious little genius’ nose. Because who wouldn’t enjoy the feel of paper shoved up their nostril?
…realizing that you are taking a huge risk any time you take your eyes off of your toddler. Even for a second. There are a number of things that can occur during this time which include (but are not limited to) the following:
- The older child will find the baby powder and turn their younger sibling into Olaf’s twin and/or make it “snow” all over the place. You’ve tried hiding the powder behind other items near the changing table but they will ALWAYS find it.
- You walk into the room only to discover that your child got a hold of the little tube of diaper cream you had in the diaper bag (or were hiding along with the above-mentioned baby powder) and proceeded to apply it all over their body as if it were sunscreen.
- You suddenly remember why you don’t let your kids color with markers. You made the mistake of turning your head for 5 seconds. This was all the time it took for that child to write all over her face (and the couch which you don’t discover for another day or two). Well, at least they were washable markers, right? Thanks, Crayola!
…catching yourself accidentally saying a curse word…and then hearing your toddler repeat that same word back clear as day. On the bright side, you realize your little one has finally begun pronouncing “sh” correctly! Oops.
…finally washing your bed sheets (because it’s been longer than you’d like to admit since the last time those suckers saw a washing machine) only to have your baby pee, poop, or spit up on them after you graciously bring them into bed with you.
…finally taking a shower (because it’s been longer than you’d like to admit since the last time you had one) only to have your baby pee, poop, or spit up on you and your clean clothes.
…going to work with questionable looking smears and stains on your clothes because you didn’t see them until it was too late. “Too late” meaning you have already been walking around your office for a few hours and have been in and out of 2 meetings before you notice.
…pretending to take some of your preschooler’s outlandish comments seriously when all you really want to do is roll your eyes and say, “Really?” For example, when your 4-year-old daughter says angrily, “I don’t want a sister anymore! She makes noises when I’m trying to think!” Well my dear, just wait until you have kids!
…as soon as you pull out your cell phone your child(ren) either smile and pose, or run and hide depending on their mood because they know you are about to enter paparazzi mode.
…you’ve come across at least one of your little one’s “selfies” (which typically only consists of one eye and part of their nose) mixed in with the rest of the pictures on your cell phone.
…you cringe any time someone buys your kids an obnoxiously loud noise-making present for your child. And then you make a mental note to find an obnoxiously loud toy to buy their child for their birthday.
…pretending you’re taking a poo in the bathroom with the door locked just to get a few moments of peace.
…telling your kids you can’t find one of their movies or cd’s (when in fact you know exactly where it is) because you just can’t handle watching/listening to it ONE MORE TIME that day/week/month.
…trying to make something really boring or tedious sound exciting just to get your kids to do it without putting up a fight. You refer to tasks (like grocery shopping or cleaning up a mess) as either an “adventure” or make it into some sort of race or challenge.
…letting your newly potty trained child pee in a plastic shopping bag in your car because there’s no way you’re going to be able to get all of your kids out of the car and back into Target before your little one pees her pants. But it’s all good! Hey – at least you remembered to take your newly purchased items out of the bag first.