Two years into this parenting gig and the hubby and I are really working hard at keeping the romance alive. From date nights to surprise bouquets of flowers and everything else between the sheets, the loving is great!
WAIT! Did I just write that while I was dreaming? That isn’t my reality, mine is much different.
Let me break it down for you. Unfortunately, being a parent takes a toll on your romance. It makes finding time for just the two of you that much harder. Long gone are the times of being caught up in the moment and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think we as women, put so much pressure on ourselves to keep the romance alive and when we see that it’s not as easy as it used to be, we clam up and get frustrated with ourselves.
So how do we tackle keeping the romance alive? First and foremost I suggest setting aside a dedicated time in the evening or on the weekends for just you and your significant other. While setting a time isn’t the most “turn-me on” kind of thing, there’s nothing else we can do about it as being a 24/7 parent is our reality. Let’s stop dreaming about what we used to be able to do and figure out how we keep the romance alive while given the new life we have as parents.
Another suggestion I have that seems to work for my husband and I is that once a month my parents take our daughter overnight so that we can have our “date-night.” It’s wonderful, we love the time we have to ourselves and appreciate it very much. For those parents who do not have overnight child care, I would recommend finding someone to watch your child one night a month (at least). One month you can plan the date and the next month your significant other can do the same. That way, one person isn’t always planning the dates, and it allows each person to be creative, take charge and plan an enjoyable night out.
For those parents looking for a date night at home, either BBQ’ing or watching a movie, I would suggest bringing your kid(s) to someone’s house to babysit instead of having that person come in. While it’s going to be work packing items for your little one, think about the time you will have resting on the couch, going for a walk or spending some time in the bedroom!
Let’s all take a breather for a moment and accept the fact that we have to be a little more creative in managing our time in the romance department. It’s OK if its scheduled and planed in advance. It’s what occurs during the romance that should be left up for spontaneity!