This is a bit embarrassing to admit. I can count on one hand, ONE HAND, the number of times my husband and I have gone out together (without our daughter) during the past 3 years.
Pre-kid we use to go on dates all the time. We loved going out to eat, especially considering we live in a town that’s filled with incredible restaurants. We’d also watch movies on the couch, go out for hikes and even go for runs together every once in a while. But after our daughter was born, we kind of put our relationship on the back burner.
Our daughter was incredibly colicky for the first 6 months of her life. Like, so colicky that we almost went nuts (we also drank a lot of wine during that time period). I’m not sure we went out together at all during her first year. The times we have gone out (up until recently) we were fortunate enough to have family that could watch our daughter, but my family moved from Connecticut to Florida about 2 years ago and we lost our main babysitters.
Truth be told, it has impacted our relationship. I started to feel a lack of connection to my husband, I’m sure as a direct result of not spending much one-on-one time together. That combined with getting stuck in the daily grind & routine and we were both missing how our relationship use to be.
So last weekend we hired a babysitter for the first time. I was nervous about how our babysitter would do putting our daughter to bed but you know what, she had no problems! Our kid went right to bed and didn’t make a peep. And I really enjoyed not having to do the bedtime routine for a night.
My hubs and I used a gift certificate that we’ve had FOR A YEAR and went out for a nice dinner. Afterwards, we walked to a spot we like where you can sit and look at the Connecticut river and we just sat there on the rocks watching the sun go down. It was nice to be out together, talking about whatever we wanted and going wherever we wanted!
I don’t think I’m alone in this phenomenon of feeling disconnected from your partner after a few years of parenting a young child. There are so many demands on your time when you’re a working parent that it’s really easy let some important priorities slip. I’m so glad that we did get out, and we’ll definitely try to make it a habit.
Date night selfie’s: