My brain is on shuffle today and lucky for you I’m letting it all out.  Here’s what’s going on in my world as the mom of a 6-year old:

The Inquisition: When your child is about 4 years old, they learn the word “why” and proceed to drive you bonkers with questions that all of a sudden seem impossible to answer. I’m college educated and yet I’ve never felt as dumb as when my 6-year old asks me a question that I can’t answer. Don’t get me wrong; I love that she’s curious. It shows me that she’s really thinking about the world around her. It definitely keeps me on my toes. Last week, she threw these ones at me:

Zoey: Who made us?

Me: What do you mean “made” us?

Zoey: You know, who made our hair, our eyes, our bodies. How did we get here?

Me: Well, your dad and I got together and made—Oh look! A bird!

Zoey: What’s that building?

Me: A church.

Zoey: Why do people need churches?

Me: It’s a place where people get together to sing songs and say prayers.

Zoey: Why do people say prayers?

Me: Um…

Not being religious, I really wished I had gone with my first instinct: Fairy Princess Castle.

After a particularly long string of “why”s the other day, I could have sworn she smirked at me and gave me the side-eye.  Seriously.  Girl knows how to push my buttons.  How old does she have to be before I can tell her to Google it?

I don't know why she's asking me...she already knows it all. Photo: K. Stevenson Do not use w/o permission

I don’t know why she’s asking me…she already knows it all.
Photo: K. Stevenson Do not use w/o permission

Pilgrims and Native Americans: My daughter is either obsessed with Pilgrims and Native Americans or she is really good at bedtime stall tactics. Most likely the answer is C: all of the above. It started last year in kindergarten when she learned about the “First Thanksgiving”. Every night at home, after the lights went out at bedtime, she started grilling me. Why did the Pilgrims and Native Americans fight? Why did the Native Americans only wear a piece of cloth on their waist? Why were the Pilgrims afraid of the Native Americans? Where did they fight?  Did they die? Did the kids fight? What about the Mommies? Why? Why? Why?

I thought I had answered all her questions sufficiently. Guess I was wrong because soon after school started this year, the interrogation began again. I asked her if she was learning about the Pilgrims already in school. She said, “No, I’m just wondering.”  I guess I should be grateful that Pilgrim and Native American didn’t end up on her Halloween costume list.

Halloween prep: Speaking of Halloween, we’ve changed our minds about our costume three times already. Apparently, Halloween is her favorite holiday. (Until it’s time for Christmas.) This year, I’m determined to make my daughter’s costume. Given that I can’t sew and have zero time, I’m limiting her choices to witch, black cat or ghost. So far she’s been excited about these choices. But she keeps changing her mind and then wants me to make it NOW!  She’s hijacked my Pinterest account and has pinned a ton of costume ideas, you know, to inspire me.  So glad I showed her how to do that…

Every morning, she asks me if I’ve started making her costume yet as if that’s what parents do after their kids go to bed. You know, because what else do we have to do? I’m pretty sure we’re headed to the fabric store this weekend. I know better than to think that if I make her costume now she will stick with whatever we choose. Oh no. That’s not guaranteed. But it will give me practice in setting limits. And practice in turning a black cat costume into a ghostly witch the weekend before Halloween.

In other news, the American girl catalog hit our mailbox this week. Let’s talk about this piece of fried gold. “Let’s get the mail together,” I said. “It will be fun,” I said. Before I could recycle it, Zoey grabbed the catalog from the pile of mail in my hands. Super. Since then, it’s been non-stop “I want this” and “We need to buy that” and “Saige needs a friend, Mommy.”  Yeah right.  It didn’t go unnoticed that everything in the catalog is REE-DIC-U-LOUS—overpriced nonsense. Now I know what my parents went through when the Sears Wishbook came out every Christmas when I was little. I figure, if she can start talking about what she wants for Christmas in September, then I can start invoking Santa’s name for good behavior any time now.  Now, where did I put that elf?

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