I remember when we found out our first kid was a boy. Some well-intentioned friends and family asked if we were going to know what to do with boys. What? Like two lesbians wouldn’t know boy stuff?
I was fairly certain I’d be able to handle the stereotypical boy stuff like playing with bugs, getting muddy, climbing on ridiculous things and venturing into daredevil acts – I did all those things. I would be more worried about having a kid that wanted to play with princesses and loved all things pink.
We thought we were prepared for raising boys. Really, what’s so super secret and hard to figure out about boys? My wife and I both have dads and brothers. We both had relationships with men (gulp, yes we did). Men aren’t that complicated.
Neither of us thought raising boys would have any big surprises we couldn’t handle.
But something has come up that I don’t really understand…
The wonderful world of penises.
I’m not sure how something that you have on your body your entire life can harbor such incredible fascination on a daily basis.
Apparently, penises are thought-provoking, hilarious, captivating and a new surprise every day.
- If both boys are naked in the bathroom (one getting out of the bath, the other getting into the shower), they point and laugh and giggle like they’ve never seen one before.
- They sometimes walk around before bed with their privates hanging over the top of their pajama bottoms laughing their little butts off. How is that comfortable?
- Sometimes, it’s big for no reason – this is met with panic at first and then intrigue as they get used to it.
- And then, sometimes a 6 year old boy may just randomly discover what happens to it when you put the jets on in the bathtub. Yep, that happened.
- On another occasion, that same little boy may get hit in the cup at T-ball when wearing a cup for the first time and yell across an entire field of kids and parents “hey mommy, that cup did stop the ball from hurting my nuts!” Yep, that happened too.
As moms, this is just weird. And normal. And uncomfortable. And just plain normal. And we handle it, without embarrassment or fanfare. Without drama or overkill discussion. If we’re not totally comfortable talking about it, I don’t think we’ve shown it to them (we may talk to other moms about it over drinks later, however).
I don’t think our boys are lacking because they don’t have a man here to share in the penis-fascination. They have each other and plenty of uncles and male cousins (who may not be any more comfortable talking about it than we are).