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Dear I’m Sorry Girl,

I see you on a regular basis and you remind me of myself at your age.  You apologize all the time when it’s not necessary.  When it is necessary, you over-apologize.  Like when something broke and you said you were SOOOOOOO sorry like so is supposed to be spelled with 15 Os.  Your sorry is starting to get a little annoying.

Scary to think I’ve got 15 years on you.  Those years have taught me a lot about myself.  But back then, in my 20s, I was just like you are now.  I was an I’m Sorry Girl too.  I said it all the time.  Even if it wasn’t my fault because I probably thought that some how it was.  I apologized for being on time, I apologized for being late, for doing something wrong, for doing something right.  I I’m Sorry-ied every possible situation to death.  I was the boy who cried wolf of sorry.  It got to the point I didn’t know why I was apologizing, I just did.  It was like a bad habit or a nervous tic.  Really, I was apologizing for being me.

Looking back, my teens and 20s were no carnival.  I was a sad, lonely kid who had a lot of self-discovery ahead of her.  I did it.  It wasn’t hard, I think it was just part of growing up.  I wish I had the confidence I have now back then, there would have been a lot less “I’m Sorry”.  Thankfully, I met Honey as I was breaking out of my chrysalis into adulthood.  (That was cheesy) He was the one who pointed out just how much I was unnecessarily apologizing.  He taught me that if you really feel bad about something, say so.  Otherwise, have confidence in yourself and your decisions and stand by them.  Then, when you do apologize for something worthy of those words it will be genuine and won’t feel fake or half-hearted.

So to you I’m Sorry Girl I say this:  You are beautiful and smart and caring.  Stop second guessing what you know about yourself, the people around you, and your decisions.  If you mean something (good or bad) say it with conviction rather than question and don’t apologize for it.  If you feel bad about a choice you made say so, but then move on and don’t dwell.  We are all learning.  It’s okay to be unsure too.  No one has it all figured out. And if they say they do they’re lying.  But most of all, stop apologizing for being who you are, you’re a pretty great person, even if you haven’t figured that out quite yet.

Sincerely,

Not so Sorry Girl

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