I’ve got to tell you, I’m totally freaking out about the future. My future, my child’s future. Maybe I’m being dramatic or overly anxious, but I am spending more and more time thinking about how humanity is crumbling and the fact that we are destroying our planet.

I think about it with every new item I bring into my house, and every piece of garbage that I throw away. Where is all of this garbage going? How much of our trash is filled with stuff that will never break down or be recycled? And what about our food and cosmetics? I can’t help but think that we are ingesting and slathering on poisonous products. I’m hyper-aware of bad people: dishonest, scamming, scumbags and creepy predators. I’m starting to feel like I’m borderline obsessing about state of our environment, pollution, and the possibility of pandemics or war.

 "Teddy Bear"  Photo: Geraint Rowland

“Teddy Bear”
Photo: Geraint Rowland

I’m so sorry that this is such a bummer of a post. And I’m even more sorry that I’ve had it on my mind so much lately. I’m positive that I felt more hopeful prior to having my daughter and can only imagine that my worries are compounded because I am now responsible for a little person’s life. Social media and the news don’t help. But I also feel like if I don’t listen to these outlets, even just a little bit, that I am just being naïve, ignoring what’s really going on out there. My prior work experiences certainly didn’t comfort me either – they actually made me realize that things were WORSE than I originally thought.

I hate living in fear, so I don’t like my brain moving in this direction. (I mean, who does, really?) And part of me wishes that I lived in the mountains and had some frontiering skills.

It’s certainly not all doom and gloom. Conversations that I’ve had with those of in older generations have said that they felt the same way when they were my age. I just hope with all of my heart that we can wise up, that we can teach our children a better way. I think I need to start spending more time in the woods, keeping my fingers crossed for a better world, make little changes where I can, and teach my daughter to want less, love more, and keep her head on straight.

Someone tell me everything is gonna be OK.

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