I’ve realized lately that I’m doing/not doing/letting my kids/not making my kids do a lot of stuff I used to think I wouldn’t. Or would. Depending on the circumstance.

For example, Two Years Ago Stephanie would never let Audrey out of the house without her hair “done.” I mean, I still brush it because combed hair is non-negotiable, but if she’s throwing a fit about a pony tail or a clip? Whatever, kid. Have fun brushing your hair out of your eyes all damned day. Not worth the energy. I used to care so much more what other people would think if the girls weren’t just so and now? Listen, they are mostly clean, their teeth are brushed and they have clothes and shoes on.

The other night we took them out to dinner and Audrey refused to wear socks with her flats because, “they just don’t look perfect, Mama!” It’s January. It’s very cold out. But, you know what? She’s right. They look stupid. She’s no fool. Well, I mean, she is because cold feet, but you know what I mean. I let her go without socks. Don’t. Care.

There are things that just aren’t a big deal to me anymore. I find myself having the Big Deal vs. Who Cares conversation with myself very often these days.

  1. Child doesn’t want to sit in a car seat anymore. BIG DEAL. And also? Sorry to inform you, Liv, but you will be in a five-point harness until you can prove to me that you weigh more than 65 pounds (so, middle school?). #sorrynotsorry
  2. Child wants to wear patent leather mary janes with running pants? WHO CARES. I used to painstakingly pair shoes with outfits. #aintnobodygottimeforthat
  3. Child wants a cupcake before dinner. WHO CARES. I mean, this is a case by case basis, but once in a while? Seriously, just get it yourself and let me take my freaking coat off.
  4. Child wants to wear an expensive, fancy occasion dress to preschool. On Art Day. WHO CARES. Let’s be real. Other than the occasion for which this dress what purchased? WHEN ELSE WILL SHE EVER WEAR IT? Get my money’s worth, girl.
  5. It’s bath night (like, seriously, they haven’t bathed in a few days) and aunt wants to take children for dinner, thus getting them back too late to take a bath. WHO CARES I AM GETTING OUT OF MAKING DINNER, PEOPLE. Wash them up, put some dry shampoo in that hair and call it good.
  6. Children want to play outside when it’s five degrees. BIG DEAL. That is just crazy talk. Or ask your father because no.
  7. Child wants to wear makeup. BIG DEAL. I don’t have an exact age for this yet (I can guess my husband’s is 40), but it’s nowhere in the near future.
  8. Child doesn’t want to wash hands. BIG DEAL. Good grief, I just told you how infrequently they’re bathing! Gross. Wash those germ factories.
  9. Child thinks the word beast is actually beef. As in, Beauty and the Beef or “Unhand me, you beef!” BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
  10. Child wants to listen to age-inappropriate songs or watch age-inappropriate shows. BIG DEAL. Watch your mouth, girls.

Some things I’m just not as crazy about as I used to be and it’s mostly because I just don’t have the energy for it. If you don’t want to eat your dinner, fine. You’ll go to bed hungry, but I’m not going to force you to eat. Don’t want to go potty before bed? You’ll either wake up to go in the middle of the night or pee in your bed. Sucks to be you.

Hey, actually, maybe I’ve got this all backwards! I’m actually putting in extra effort and teaching them valuable life lessons about natural consequences! BEST MOM EVER! (Or lazy. You choose. I’m fine with either. WHO CARES.)

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