All of these snow days sure are taking their toll. We all have cabin fever over here, and we keep having to miss out on the fun things we love. Winter can be pretty, but, man, what a drag!
I’ve been feeling the effects, too, in my schoolwork. I have to budget my time very carefully from day to day, and rely heavily on the two and a half hours my daughter is in preschool for study time. Other than that, I can only squeeze my studies in after she goes to bed, but those afternoon hours are crucial. And when she doesn’t have school, I lose those study hours.
I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my schoolwork. And for me, that means I’m not satisfied until I’m sure I’ve given it my all. I went into an exam this week feeing unprepared, my first time since returning to school. I hated the feeling; knowing I didn’t do my best, knowing I *could* have given more.
But could I, really? Maybe I’m just judging myself on a past definition of my best work. From a time when I had fewer responsibilities and people counting on me, you know, for their existence. Maybe “good enough” is my best this time around. Maybe I need to give up some control over my perfectionist ideal of how to “do it right” and simply celebrate the fact that I’m doing it.
I don’t like doing things halfway. But as I’m starting to see, at this point in my life, my “best” is the sum of its parts, and not solely perfection in any one thing.