I need an assistant. I would get so much more done and have a clear mind to be present-actually BE in the moment-if someone would just take care of all the stuff on my to-do list. A while back, I posted a list of what every Super Mom needs. I think I’m done with trying to be a Super Mom. I have a new idea: I need a Mom-tourage–A team of people dedicated to making me look good at this parenting thing.
Here are the positions I am looking to fill. Of course these would be volunteer spots, because if I could afford to pay them, I wouldn’t need them…Besides, being in an entourage, even the Mom-tourage, is cool. Just ask these guys:
Chef– I was browsing Pinterest the other day and damn, there were some good-looking meals on there. Healthy ones too. If I had a chef, my family would stand a chance of seeing these meals hit the dinner table. OOOH, and one who does dishes too!
“Jack of All Trades”– Must be handy with tools. I don’t have time to deal with that running toilet or reattaching that piece of molding that I broke off the stairs. In fact, I really have no clue how to go about fixing either one of those or a multitude of other things around the house. Having a “Jack of All Trades” would mean nothing in my house would stay broken ever again. I’m going to close my eyes and imagine that.
Laundry folder– Ironing is a bonus. It never ends. Laundry is a war and I’m losing every single battle. I waste so much time searching through piles of dirty laundry or piles of clean laundry looking for that item of clothing that I SWEAR I just saw…
Driver and snow remover– I would have so much more time to concentrate on the good stuff if I was a passenger on all the travels. It would be even better, if I didn’t have to be in the car at all! Lately, snow removal has been taking up way too much of my precious time. My husband and I have had to basically ignore our daughter to take care of Snowmageddon 2015 on more than one occasion. And when we’re done-ain’t nobody wanna go sledding.
Motivational speaker/personal trainer–this can be combined with the Chef position. This person must be ready to be with me constantly. I need someone for on the spot ego boosters and pick-me-ups. “You’re a great mom!” “It’s ok! You’ll make her a healthy lunch next time!” “You look hot today!” “Yes! You CAN do it all!” This is a must have!
Optional positions: back rubber and foot massager. Because…stress, ya know?
I wouldn’t let the Mom-tourage do everything though. I would still manage to get myself dressed in the morning and get Zoey off to school on time. I would never give up the play time or the bed time snuggles. In fact the whole reason for the Mom-tourage would be to make more time for the fun stuff: Ice skating and arts and crafts. Movies and sledding. Museum visits and dancing in the living room because it’s Tuesday. Right now, there isn’t enough fun stuff going on. I want more fun.
Back to reality. I know there’s no such thing as a Mom-tourage. But I can start today and make the changes I need to in order to get more fun in my life with my child. It takes effort and time and commitment. But it’s worth it. The dishes can wait. The food is good enough. So what if I’m wrinkled? My daughter needs attention-the undivided kind. She needs a dance partner. She needs someone to laugh at her knock-knock jokes (no easy feat). She needs someone to listen to her read stories and play mermaid with her for the zillionth time. Those things are all going back to the top of the priority list. I don’t know how I ever let them slide.