“Wow, I am in awe of the things you manage to do every day.” 

My husband said this to me and I just about swooned.  It’s about time…I’ve only been a mom for a little over 12 years. Last week I had a lot going on…and I needed his help.  I have been working on a number of projects at the office that are all hitting the proverbial fan at once. I had deadlines for a few freelance gigs. And I made an appearance on channel 8 New Haven’s CT Style show on behalf of CTWorkingMoms! My husband, who has a super demanding job himself, wanted to help out, so he jumped in on a Thursday (my craziest day) and Friday, so that I could get all the things done that I needed to do. Boy, was he in for a shock.

On Thursday, he saw my to-do list; which included dropping my car off for service, putting in a day at the office, running to city hall during the allotted time slot (4:45-5:30!) to sign our son up for a coveted spot in the (cheap) town summer camp program (which, of course, must be done in person…why!???!?!?), managing to get to our son’s school for his basketball game, picking up the car that I dropped off earlier, running back to pick up our son and take him to his music lesson, stopping at a local take-out place for dinner, getting our kid to basketball practice for his OTHER team, and finally, helping with homework.  The evening ended with a glass of wine and me conking out on the couch.

On Friday morning, I left him in charge while I showered and dressed for my CTWorking Moms TV appearance on Channel 8 New Haven. He called me when he got to work (late!) because the dog refused to poop when he took her out and our son lost his eyeglasses somewhere in the house (in other words, a typical morning). “I don’t know how you do this every day…and I didn’t even do it all,” he said to me. “Wow. I’m in awe of all the things you manage to do every day.”  It felt so good to be acknowledged, and to have all those things that I do every day that keep life moving forward recognized meant so much to me.

Often, I hear other moms say that they feel that all the things that women do for their families is overlooked. Perhaps we do such a good job at keeping so many balls in the air while making it look effortless, that our spouses don’t see the planning and coordination that we do every day.  We’re not looking for a medal, just a little acknowledgement and validation that it’s hard to juggle work, a family, and the many details of everyday life and some appreciation for doing it.

So, guys*, just a little advice…tell your wife what a great job she’s doing – it will do wonders for your marriage and maybe, your sex life too.