Husband out of town. Family in Florida. Youngest child wakes in the middle of the night with a high fever. I bring the fever down with medicine and everything looks better in the morning. But then by the afternoon, her fever spikes back up and she’s having very bad stomach pain on and off. Do I head to the emergency room or wait it out? Who will watch my older child? After talking to our on call doctor, I decide it’s better to be safe than sorry. They mention it could be an appendicitis. She’s also been having trouble going lately, but she just went #2 yesterday, so does that mean constipation is unlikely? And, what’s with the fever?

Just like when I was in labor and didn’t realize it, I wonder if I’m making this molehill into a mountain. Am I a hypochondriac because I’ve just heard of intussusception and now I think my kid might have it? What will they think if I come in and waste everyone’s time for a common cold and a fever? I’m uber aware that for some moms the decision not to seek medical attention for themselves or their child might also be because of the financial implications and I thank my lucky stars that we have great insurance. A trip to the emergency room will cost only slightly more than a trip to a specialist.

I have a friend who is more than willing to come over to put my older child to bed. I figure it’s better to head out to the ER at 7pm than in the middle of the night. Off we go. I’m not super worried – we’re about to be in good hands at a wonderful hospital just for kids. I’m more worried that I’m going to seem silly bringing in a child that’s in such good spirits. Sure enough, for the first few hours we’re there she’s all smiles but all of a sudden is a mess and in pain again. She’s a champ while they take urine and do an x-ray of her abdomen. The diagnosis isn’t anything requiring emergency surgery. She’s just full of crap. Extreme constipation. Luckily, it’s something they are able to take care of quickly and easily.

6-26-12 M at CCMC

At this point, I no longer feel silly. It is what it is. No matter what, I’ve made the right decision to play it safe. I’m sure the hospital staff would prefer to have situations end like this. It’s such a weird feeling to go to the doctor or hospital hoping that your worry was justified and not exaggerated but of course knowing that it’s better to have your intuition be incorrect and have nothing be wrong with your child. It’s silly to feel silly about worrying about your soulmate. But I still do wonder why sometimes I feel ashamed to just go with my mothers’ intuition because what if I’m wrong. But the bottom line is, I’d rather be wrong and I’d rather be sure.